No Title...

I can never come up with clever titles to my posts - so this one really doesn't have one!  :)

I've been busy.  Same ol' song and dance that I write about in each post.  I'm busy.  Blah blah blah.  We all are I'm sure.  But let's see...where did I leave off...what's been going on in my life??

Halloween.  Really?  That's where I left off.  It's a miracle if ANYONE reads this blog anymore, and rightly so. 

But here we go...

We visited the Happiest Place on Earth



We met Santa - and someone wasn't a fan



We met Mickey

Took pictures with Princess Jasmine

Was in awe of Sleeping Beauty





 

Loved Snow White

 And there are a ton more pictures...but that requires time.  Time to pull them out of the camera (meaning watching the videos and capturing pictures inside the video), load the card into the reader, edit the pics and then upload them to blogger...which honestly...can be a pain in the ass.  So there's a preview of SOME of the things we've done. 

I have more pictures to share and more events to write about - but this will do for now...or at least will have to!  :)  Perhaps I will be less boring next time around!  :)

Apparently...

Apparently I'm out of of office.  I've been out of office for a while.  I should hopefully return to blogging in the next few weeks!  :)

How do you do it?

I'm a mom of 2.  One is 3, one is almost a year.  Oh my...really?  Almost a year???  One naps, the other is awake.  The other naps, the other is awake.  They need attention.  The house needs to be cleaned.  I am exhausted.  How do you all fit blogging in?  By the time I nurse and put the little one down, I'm exhausted and ready to veg and not deal with photoshopping pictures, which let's be honest...I don't really photoshop...it's more of a "quick fix" and allow photoshop to do it all on its own.  But still, that seems to take forever.  I guess I just need to find more time.

At any rate...we've been busy lately.  The kid has been going to preschool.  She got sick (yay for preschool :-\).  Baby got sick.  Husband got sick.  Everyone healed.  Halloween came around.  Go go go go go is what it seems like lately.  Does that ever stop???

I absolutely LOVE this time of year so I had a blast celebrating Halloween with the family.  It's my mom's birthday on Halloween so I was blessed to have been able to spend her birthday with her.  She went trick-or-treating with us and we had pizza and cake!  :)  Great night!  Great month!  :)

Ready for pumpkins

Excited to be here

Cuteness overload

Boo from Monster's Inc

Boo and Sulley

Okay let's trick-or-treat already!

The kid drew and carved her own pumpkin!

Fun night!

Proud of the Giants and Mickey Mouse one!  :)




 




 

Check Your Ladies...

Today I'm asking, begging, and pleading to all of you out there to check your "ladies".  October, as a lot of you know, is breast cancer awareness month.  Breast cancer is the most common cancer among women in the United States (aside from skin cancer).  It only takes a couple minutes (if that) to do self-exams. 

It's important.

Very important.

Today I am holding those dealing with this (those physically dealing with it and those dealing with it emotionally because of a loved one dealing with it) close in thought and prayer.  I ask you do the same.  Take some time to check yourself, and take some time to send up a prayer.  It only takes a moment.

I am especially holding MommaKiss and her BFF super close.  She is losing both of her ladies today.  She is my age.  I'm not old.  You always expect older people to get cancer.  Not someone in their 30s.  I cannot imagine what her friend is going through. My heart is overflowing with emotion for her. My heart breaks for MommaKiss because none of us want to see our BFF go through anything bad - especially this bad.  I don't know her friend but I've been praying and thinking of her since I found out the news.  Today especially.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE hold her so very close in thought and prayer.  She needs all the prayers right now.  She needs to feel the love holdin' her up during this time.  She needs to feel the hands of love extended towards her as she goes through this.  Pray for MommaKiss too.  She needs her hand held too.

So please, ALL OF YOU (men included) - take the time to do an exam.  It only takes a few moments.  It's one of the most important things you can do today.

And?  FTC.  FTMFC!

Oldie but a Goodie...

I've posted this twice before - but today...it's once again, very fitting...

I AM...


I am thankful. This has not always been an easy walk for me.

I am disappointed. We have missed family gatherings, weddings, dinner engagements, birthday parties, and holidays because of shift schedules and overtime.

I am patient. There have been dinners spent at the firehouse waiting for Daddy to return from a call while the kids get cranky and the food gets cold.

I am nervous. I awake at 3:00 A.M. hearing creaks in the house and don't have the comfort of my husband beside me.

I am tired. The house is full of sick kids and there is no relief in site because Daddy is on a seventy-two-hour shift.

I am jealous. Jealous of all the women whose husbands came home at 5:00 P.M. to have dinner and hold them at the end of their day.

I am worried. I worry that he may not come home one day. This I try to tuck away.

I am content. We have decided to give up my career so I can stay home and raise our children. We no longer have an abundance of money or things. It is the greatest freedom I have ever known.

I am incompetent. There was a time when I considered myself moderately intelligent. I now struggle to remember where I left my car keys, the diaper bag, and, occasionally, the baby.

I am waiting. Knowing the phone may one day ring for me.

I am doubting. Doubting that God hears all my prayers. Doubting I am the kind of wife and mother He needs me to be.

I am trusting. Trusting that my husband will come home again.

I am confident, I am embarrassed, I am lonely, I am surprised, I am overworked, I am underpaid.

I am...The Fireman's Wife.

Whew!

Today was easy!  No tears.  Well, not from the kid at least.  She did GREAT!  I, however, cried as we drove away.  And cried a lot.  In fact, I cried before we left the house.  The kid didn't know but the husband did.  He thought I was silly but understood. 

We went to breakfast with just the baby.  What a whole different world...a whole QUIET world without the toddler.

I missed her tremendously and the husband and I kept saying "I wonder what she's doing now?"  But it went well.  She did come home in her spare clothes - but that's okay.  It was her first day and she wasn't too sure where the outdoor potty was (from what I'm assuming).

Now this is where we get the biggest parenting fail.  We didn't get many pictures.  The only ones I got were in the bathroom of our house this morning (which is a crappy picture - no pun intended) - and some of her playing with a little boy in class.  Sigh.  We did videotape some before we left so  I am not sure if any of those moments will be picture-worthy.  I will have to take a look and see so I can share! 

But I was happy she did so well.  I'm hoping Wednesday is as smooth!

It's Almost Time...

I'm a mix of emotions as I write this.  I'm SUPER excited for the events that are about to happen tomorrow...but a big part of me is holding on, screaming, kicking, sad.  My little girl is starting school.  And it's not really SCHOOL school.  Just preschool.  But still.  I'm allowed to be a mommy and be sad my little girl is growing up - and growing up way too fast.  I'm also allowed to cry (away from her) because she has never been away from me for long periods of time.  I'm allowed to have the Momma Bear in me be protective and not want her to be out of my reach.  I'm allowed to miss the little one year old learning to walk.  I'm allowed to just want to run far away with her so she doesn't have to go tomorrow.  But I won't.  I can't.  I wouldn't.

I'm excited to see her venture off into this new phase.  I'm excited for what she is going to learn.  I'm excited she will make new friends.  I'm excited she will grow independently and experience life.  I'm excited for the days she brings me home her little arts and crafts projects.  I'm excited for her.  Just plain excited.

And to celebrate and get ready...we've made today (and a lot of yesterday) about her. 

Last night before bed we spent some time laughing and snorting and taking silly pictures of us. 

Today we got up and had breakfast and left the house.  We went to Walmart to let her pick out new nail polish for her fingers and toes.  She picked a sparkly pink.  She was super excited.

She got new tennis shoes to leave at school in case of an accident.  They were only $10 - deal!

We met up with her BFF to watch airplanes take off and land at the local airport.




Taken from my phone so not the best

We went to lunch at one of the best places where she had grilled cheese...

And because she loved her silly pictures so much last night...we had to take this one:


And we just HAD to have dessert.  A yummy cupcake!  And of course...with a silly picture!

Today is still young and she's napping right now.  We will get the spa treatment with a manicure and pedicure when she wakes up.  She will also get a nice bubble bath before bed.

I don't know how tomorrow will pan out.  I'm sure there will be tears.  If not from her, definitely from me.  I am not a fan of Father Time.  I don't like how fast things are moving.  I want to bottle her up and keep her young forever.  But I can't.  If I am this nervous/sad/excited for preschool - I can't imagine kindergarten, elementary and high school - let alone college!

All I know is I love that little pumpkin-a-poo-poo with every ounce of my being.  I'm so proud of her and so honored I was picked to raise such a beautiful little girl.  I must have done SOMETHING right in my lifetime to be so blessed!

Flip Off Friday

Thank you MommaKiss for allowing me to flip things off today! :)  Here we go!



Absolutely LOVE and adore my husband - not his snoring.

 



I LOVE my kids more than anything - just not the fact they keep me up all night!




LOVE LOVE LOVE my toddler - just NOT her whining



Eff you stress!  I hate how I let things consume me (ie - kid starting preschool which in turn gives me anxiety!)

I wish cancer would get cancer and die.



 I'd also like to flip off blogger for trying to add these damn photos!  What a pain in the ass it was.  For whatever reason it kept messing up!  Now off to make some cookies and drink champagne and make Friday awesome!  :)  If you'd like to flip things off - just head on over to   MommaKiss and have some fun! 

I'm In Trouble...

I haven't posted in about a month and it's been brought to my attention of how much of a slacker I am!  (Thanks Amanda!)

So...this is what we've been up to and why I have been slacking - and what better day to post than on a Wordless Wednesday (although it's semi-wordless).

We turned three:

Went on vacation:



Been to the park...A.LOT.

Started crawling...

AND CRAWLING EVERY.FRIGGEN.WHERE.

Starting preschool Monday.  Sigh. Hopefully she will do just perfect.  Not so sure I will.

With Love...

It's a day none of us will ever forget. A day of phenomenal tragedy. A day of utter pain. A day of uncertainty. A day of fear. A day of darkness. A day each of us remembers what was happening the moment we heard the news.

My heart broke then, my heart breaks now. For the 2977 people that died, for the families of those that died, for the 343 firefighters that died trying to save those people...my heart breaks.

In Loving Memory...

Friday Flip-Offs

Back again for another Flip-Off Friday thanks to the beautiful Momma Kiss. I love Flip-Off Friday! :)

1. First and foremost...I have a BIG eff-you to the two people arrested for looting from those poor poor families that fell victim to the San Bruno Fire. You make me absolutely sick. 53 homes destroyed, 120 damaged, 4 confirmed dead (although there will be more), and so many hurt. How dare you go and loot from these poor innocent victims. You make me sick.

2. Flippin' off whining. Honestly, listening to the toddler whine whine whine this morning is about to drive me over the edge. She will be fine in about a half hour - after she's done eating - but the time leading up to her stopping is about to make me pull my hair out!

3. And...flippin' off teeth! You little tiny baby teeth buggin' my youngest daughter can eff off. Not only does she scream in pain and chew on everything...she's chewing on ME! I have teeth marks on my left shoulder. I was also quite sure she amputated my nipple this morning when feeding her. It's still there...amazingly. But you little teeth...grow in already and leave her (and me!) alone!

And that's all for today...or at least for the moment!

Got things you want to flip off? Head on over and pay a visit to Momma Kiss and play along!

My Precious Precious Daughter...

Dear Sweetheart:

Today you turn three.  Did you know that three years ago today, I was given the absolute BEST birthday present, one that NO ONE could EVER top...YOU!  You were born into this world at 9:58 pm and were so stunningly beautiful the moment you arrived.  You are still so amazingly perfect - I have been blessed.  Blessed in ways I'm not sure I deserve...but so honored to be able to be YOUR mom!

I love you so very very much.  It's so fun to watch you grow into the beautiful little girl you are becoming.  You amaze me every day with your intelligence, your laughter, your funny nature, your hugs and kisses, and just being YOU.  I wish I could just make a huge bubble and keep you young forever but I know I can't.

I am so proud of you for all that you are.  You probably don't even know what it means - or even realize it - but every single room you walk into...you light it up!  You make it sparkle!  You can turn any bad mood into a great mood just by looking at you.  You can melt my heart with just a simple glance in my direction. 

I don't know how I got so lucky to have YOU as a daughter - but I'm so overjoyed that I was chosen for you, and you were chosen for me!  I look forward to watching you grow, watching you learn new things and watching you become an even better you! 

I love you so very very very very very much.

Happy birthday baby girl!

Love,

Mommy

Minutes old...

 

First Birthday...

2nd birthday...(you can tell she was playing hard!)

About to be three...

Let's Just Be Honest Here...

I started this 30 days of truth and well...I am not doing so well with it.  The kid's birthday party is tomorrow and we've been busy getting things ready to host 40 people.  It was only going to be 22 but then late RSVPs made the list grow to 40...so yes, we've been busy.

But...it's time to get back to the honesty thing.  I have a bazillion days to catch up on it feels like - so be forewarned this will be a long post.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Oh this is so cliche...but I hope to be alive long enough to meet my grandchildren.


Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Bury someone I love.  I know I will have to but I have a fear of it.  A huge fear.  I NEVER EVER EVER want to have to bury one of my children but I also don't want to lose my husband, my mom, my dad, my siblings, my friends, no one.  Yes, it's inevitable but the thought of it brings me anxiety.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

My husband.  My kids.  My family.  I know that's more than one someone but they all make my existence on this earth worth every single second.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Well, I can say ex-boyfriends.  BUT, in reality I guess the only person to blame here is me.  I stayed in horrible abusive (verbal/emotional) relationships.  I allowed to be treated that way.  But I also found my self-respect, self-worth and self-love and walked away.  Perhaps they will be part of my Friday flip off next week!

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Various friends in my life.  I am sure we all go through that.  But the whole "reason, season, lifetime" bit is completely true in my life.  Each person is or was in my life for a reason and for that I am truly truly grateful for everyone.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Hmmm.  I can't really think of anyone.  I have learned to let go of toxic people and right now I don't think I have any toxic people in my life. 

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Oh gosh this is hard.  I don't take compliments well AT ALL.  Um.  Hmmm.  The fact I have a giving nature?  I've been told I am a great mom...but again, I'm not so sure that's true.  Wow.  This is sad.  I think I need to listen more.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

My figure.  Sigh.  Kids will do that to you!

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Write a letter?  To a band?  Hmmm.  I don't even want to answer this.  You will all laugh.  Literally.  But since I have to be honest...NKOTB.  Yes, laugh.  Get it out.  Now back in the day - I lived for those guys.  I was positive I was going to marry one of them.  I just knew it.  During those junior high/high school days (yup - just dated myself) when I'd have a bad day - I could just daydream and everything would be better.  Yeah okay...you can stop laughing now.  Kind of a silly truth - but reminds me of my youth!  :)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Lot's of letter writing going on.  To be honest I don't know if I have one of these either.  I will have to think on it and if I come up with something I will finish this one later!

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

My husband.  Before we were married we broke up.  I remember that time - it was truly devastating to me.  I was so heartbroken.  I was looking for places to live and starting to pack stuff.  Luckily it only lasted a very short time and now we are married with two beautiful daughters!  :)

Friday Flip-Offs

I know this blog is usually pretty PC but the real me in real life isn't always so. Today I need this Friday Flip-Off and since the wonderfully beautiful Momma Kiss is hosting - I can't just let it slide...plus I have a lot of things to flip off...

The first being party planning. Yeah. Party planning. Both mine and the toddler's birthday is this Sunday. I LOVE LOVE LOVE party planning. I like live for this shit stuff.  But...when it comes down to the wire, the hubby has to go to work to provide for us and I have a fussy toddler and clingy baby.  Today I loathe party planning. Can't I just sleep in? No. I have to clean and do some things here and there, oh yeah, and clean. Tomorrow I have to bake and bake and bake.  But today, I clean.  Have you tried getting a house clean with two kids that need your attention...24/7 after not sleeping much?

That's the other thing. Sleep. Sleep, I love you. BUT a big flip off to you for not coming back after I had to feed the baby at 4. Why did you just leave and leave me wide awake? Don't you realize I need you?

Now for those that don't want to read TMI stuff...just skip this flip off... But probably the BIGGEST eff you to my period. Yup...EFF YOU! Post partum periods can kiss my big white ass butt. I had no issues with my oldest daughter but this time around??? Hell no. They seem to last 2 to 2.5 weeks (or more) and then it comes back yesterday? Yeah...once again...EFF YOU. A few days in between periods is completely unacceptable. Happy birthday to me! And yes, I just blogged about my period.

And...as crappy as this post sounds...I am actually in a GREAT mood today!  I'm excited about the party (just not the prep) and I've got my caffeine high going.  BUT...I might as well flip off the crash from my high now because I'll probably be too tired to later!  :)

Now head on over to Mommakiss and play along! :)

Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday

This is going to be something that I am sure my family wouldn't want me to vent about. I guess it's not really a vent but more of something that has bothered me for 30 years. I am about to celebrate the 15th anniversary of my 21st birthday and for the prior 30-31 years there's been the biggest elephant in the room.

My dad and his parents don't talk. As long as I remember - they don't talk. When my mom and dad were married (they divorced when I was 4ish/5ish) they did speak and hang out - but after they divorced - they didn't. Growing up it was my mom that took me to visit my dad's parents. Weird.

So fast forward the 30 years. My grandfather has now passed on and my grandma is still here. My dad and her have been talking and even visiting every Sunday. Honestly, you have no idea how much this just fills me up with pride, happiness, love, basically an emotion I can't put into words. It's literally a dream come true!

Neither my grandparents nor my dad have really told me why they didn't talk. Honestly, I think they don't even know why. They just didn't. My grandma thought he didn't care - he thought she didn't care.

I've seen the utter pain in my dad from this. I've seen him breakdown and lose it when my grandfather died. He had never spoke to him. He was told not to come to the funeral by my aunt (conveying the message through my mom to me and my brother to get to him). You see, my aunt and him don't talk either. I've seen the pain when meaningless birthday cards were sent between my dad and his mom. They both loved each other but both were hurt.

So now they are SLOWLY mending things. They are SLOWLY getting to know one another. My grandma is 92. I am not sure how much longer she has but I am truly happy this is going on.

But when my dad visited her recently, he informed her he would like to come down to visit her with my children and myself. She flat out told him no. On two different occasions. I am not sure why and it's been bugging me to no end. This may be selfish - but I REALLY want a 4 generation picture. I NEVER EVER even remotely thought it would be a possibility and now that it is - I want it. I WANT to witness my dad with his mom. I NEED that. But my grandma's adamant "no" has me hurt. Has me questioning what is really going on.

I'm going to be seeing her on Thursday for a visit with my girls and husband. I'm going to ask her if it's okay if I come with my dad. If she says no I am going to ask why. I'm scared. I am scared of the answer. I'm scared of getting really emotional over it. It's been a REALLY emotional thing for me for many many years. My brother lives out of state so he isn't as affected as much as I am, but he's affected too.  I'm just the one that has been in the middle of this for years and years.

I'm just really hoping that even if I don't get to witness them together, that the two of them can mend their relationship enough to make both happy when one or the other passes.  I'm glad it's going on - I just wish I could be a part of it too!

Keeping my everything crossed that Thursday goes okay and I will be able to visit my grandma with my girls AND my father really really soon!

Now tell me what's on YOUR mind...

Post It Note Tuesday...