Weekly Assignment

So another week of Mama Kat's assignments that I feel compelled to do! :)

1.) Describe the best/most creative punishment you have ever given your children or received yourself.

2.) Tell a friend or family members story as if it happened to you.

3.) Tell a story about a moment in time when you were so happy you were you and not someone else in the room.

4.) I picked up the phone and I could not believe what I was hearing...

5.) Show us something you did yourself!

I think this week I want to do two of them. Both are interesting. Okay...one is totally childish, but it still makes me totally laugh!

The first one I am going to do is #4.

There was a time when I worked at a law office specializing in divorce (this was before I had my own paralegal practice). The phone rang and I answered it like I normally did "Law office". Yes, that's how us law folks answer. Not very personable.

I hear our client on the other end (I came to recognize his voice A LOT) saying "she's in there with my brother right now!" I asked him what was going on. He said "she's in there with my brother and I am going to stab her when she comes out!" I talked to him, telling him to calm down and that he should put the knife down and leave. He said "no...they are ready to come out...I am going to stab her! I am going to kill her!" I said "[insert name] please don't do anything stupid...it's NOT worth it...just walk out". Next thing I heard was some rumbling with the phone, him yelling "here she comes!" and TONS of screaming before the line went dead. We called 911 but since we didn't know where they were or what exactly was going on, they couldn't help.

Our client stabbed his wife (that filed for divorce) over 27 times. He spent time in prison for his crime. The sad part??? She came in a few months later with all her stab wounds on her face, neck, arms, etc and dismissed the entire divorce so she could work it out with him. It is something that sticks with me to this day and will stick with me probably forever. The sounds were horrible. DEFINITELY couldn't believe what I was hearing on the other end of the phone that day.

So now I am going backward to #3, which is a happier ending...

My sister in law and I took up yoga through the adult education center in our local town. We are both 35 (okay she is 34 still but only for a few more days) and I think we were just a few years younger when we took it. Everything was fine. I tend to get giggly over a lot of things when taking yoga but this time...I was able to keep my giggles in...shaking...sweating...trying to keep them in - but I kept them in.

We were starting to warm down for the night and were doing a pose. There was a lady right in front of the SIL and her husband/boyfriend in front of me. Whatever pose we were doing required your tush to be out in the air and as the room was totally silent...the poor lady let one rip. Now it wasn't a quiet one by any means. It was one sooooooooo loud, sooooooo embarrassing that if it had been me...I would have just took my yoga mat and walked out right then and there and never ever came back.


I COULD NOT and WOULD NOT look at the SIL. I knew if I did - I'd lose it. I'd laugh so hard that I would have to leave. I could see out of the corner of my eye that she looked at me a few times and as we were in our final pose of the night...totally silent and relaxing...both of us were sitting there shaking trying so hard not to laugh. Yes, we are childish.

As soon as class was over - she looked at me - I looked at her - we RAN to our shoes - didn't even roll up our mats - JUMPED in the car and hightailed it out of there. Meanwhile...we laughed. We laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed until we were crying and just about drooling. We could not catch our breath. It was friggen hilarious!!! To this day - we can still laugh and laugh and laugh about it as if it happened the day before! :)

The poor lady never came back to class after that and that is DEFINITELY one time I was glad it was someone else and not me! :)