Today is Mother's Day. For whatever reason I am sitting here wondering what exactly MAKES a good mom. I know you don't even have to give birth to a child to be a "good mom" but what if I don't even measure up under the definition of "decent mom" let alone a "good mom"? I guess perhaps there is a difference between a "good mom" and a "super mom". "Super moms" don't really exist I suppose - but for some reason - society makes us think there a million of them running around out there and we are failing at our jobs. At least it does for me. It's a RARE RARE thing where I am told by someone that I am a "good mom". As a matter of fact...minus my husband...I don't think ANYONE has told me that. My husband gets compliments about being a great father all the time - but me? Not so much.
As a mom to two girls, and the wife of a firefighter whose schedule does not give me a partner that is home every single night (and lately - has not been home for a couple weeks), I find myself feeling like a failure as a parent. I yell. I put in time out. I make my kids cry. I cry. I feel like a bully. I crave alone time. I have been known to have the kids watch some tv so I can take a break and decompress as best as a stay-at-home-mom can. I have checked out a time or two. I am not a good play-partner. I don't spend as much time as I should with them. I can't quite figure out how to give both of them all the attention they both need at the same time. I can't seem to keep the house clean. I can't seem to please everyone.
Hmmm. Maybe that's the problem? I spend so much time pleasing everyone else (or at least trying to) - I forget about me. But does a "good mom" just do that - forget about themselves and put everyone else first?
I love. I laugh. I tickle and make them snort when laughing. I've even been known to make them laugh so hard they snort and fart at the same time. I hug. I kiss. I scratch backs to relax. I wipe butts. I sing. I rock. I read books and play with puzzles. I take them places. I TRY to teach the ABCs and 123s. I TRY to teach how to spell C-A-T or D-O-G. I give them a sense of family by having grandparents and aunts over (to me it's so important to have a good family bond with extended family). I bake (although I know they only help so they can eat the batter or the dough). I bring them to the park when I can't stand going to the park. I allow them to learn on their own (as hard as that is). I feed, clothe, bathe and fix boo-boos. I dry tears. I love.
I don't know what makes a great mom. I'm sure my mom wondered if she was a good mom herself. I am sure most moms wonder the same thing. I guess the one thing I DO know is in my heart I love those little girls more than I could ever find the words for. My actions may not always show that - but it's true. I just really hope I don't screw them up to where they need therapy later in life. I make mistakes. I am human. I am a mom.