Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I Get It...

I have had A LOT of support when people have found out I am expecting. I had lots of hugs, some tears, tons of congrats and just overall love. It's truly such a wonderful feeling when people are just as excited as you are about a new life coming into this world!

But why is it when you DO have good news - there are those few that aren't happy for you. I mean, I get going through crappy times and I get stress and whatever else. But why is that some people can't just be happy for others? Why must there always be a few to rain on your parade?

I had a few people express to me their "thoughts" on me being pregnant. So, to "answer" their concerns, which may be concerns of others who didn't open their mouth, I will do so here.

1. You better hurry up and potty train Emily. It's going to be so hard to have two kids in diapers. Plus, don't you think you are having two too close together?

No, I don't think they are too close in age. In fact, I think it's a GREAT spread in age. As far as the potty training, it will happen when it does. I am not going to force my daughter to do something she isn't ready for yet, at 20 months, just because it will make MY life better. But don't you worry, we are introducing her to it right now. It just isn't going to happen tomorrow. It will happen when she's ready.

2. I can't believe you are doing this right in the middle of school. School is going to get harder and harder and you should have waited. You probably aren't going to go back. You CAN'T forget about school.

I understandstand school is difficult. I also understand it will get worse the more advanced classes I take. I also understand that this new baby will slow me down a semester or two. I understand the person who said this is having a difficult time in school because this person is more advanced in classes than I am, plus this person is working her butt off with two jobs. I know they are working their ass off and I know they will be SO successful at the end of their journey and I am so EXCITED for this person to reach their goal! But you know what else I understand, I also understand that I have a GREAT support team. I have a great husband who can be flexible with his job. I have great family and friends always willing to help. Sure, I will be tired. Sure I will be stressed. Sure I will probably cry when overworked. But, I can do this. I WILL do this. I believe in myself 110% - which is a hell of a lot more than some people believe in me. But to me, all that matters is that I am doing this for ME. I am making a change for the better. I am making a change that will benefit my family. I truly believe that anything WORTHWHILE takes a lot of hard work. I am committed to this journey.

3. I knew it...but you and your husband have a crappy relationship, is it so smart to be having another child?

THIS is the one that pissed me off the most. First and foremost, my husband and I have a GREAT relationship. He is my best friend. Sure, we argue. Show me ONE couple that do not get annoyed with each other. Show me ONE couple that has never had a disagreement. Show me ONE couple that hasn't had a fight. I will be the first to say it. We fight. We disagree. We get annoyed with one another. JUST because we do that does NOT mean we have a crappy marriage or relationship. I couldn't be MORE excited to be doing this with HIM. He is an EXCELLENT father who continues to amaze me and I am so honored to call him my husband. We've been through rough patches. We have been through big fights. We have been through a lot even before we got married. But we made it through. We grew together. We loved each other. We respected each other. We are at where we are now and I think it's pretty damn exciting. I understand the reasons this person may have said this. I undertand what they are going through in their life. But it doesn't mean because I vented to them twice about an argument with hubby that our marriage is crap. I guess I learned I REALLY can't trust too many people with things. You would THINK I would have learned that by now. But alas, I still haven't fully grasped it.

But at any rate. I am happy. I am excited. I am content. I don't think I have been happier in my life. This journey we are on is exciting. Sure it's stressful. Sure it's scary. But I know it's going to be amazing! :) And...I guess...what it REALLY comes down to is what is RIGHT for hubby and I. No one else. This is OUR journey. No one else's.


Mandie, Daniel and Dawson said...

SCREW naysayers! This is amazing, this is a miracle, this is AWESOME...don't let anyone bring you down!

The Wife O Riley said...

I am a terrible bloggy friend, I didn't even know you were expecting!

A big HUGE Congratulations to you and your husband and the new big sister!

When I got pregnant with Vivi she was what we called a "suprise". My girls are 5 1/2 years apart and we were only going to have one.

I faced quite a few of the same sentiments that you are.

"Why are you having another one now?"

"Matt's still in school, what are you going to do?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

But at the end of the day, I knew that it was exactly what I wanted. Now, I can't imagine life without my little Vivi.

I wish you all the best!!!

Kimmy said...

I am totally and completely excited for you guys! I know all too well (as you know) that relationships have their ups and downs and it amazes me that people have to scrutinize other people's relationships, especially during an exciting time. Boo on them and YAH for you! You guys are amazing and again, I can't wait to meet Emily and your new addition! *HUGS*

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

Okay Mama... let me AT EM!!!


Emily will NOT walk down the Aisle to get married in diapers... so person that is so concerned??? Chill out!

Where the hell did someone get the idea you and your hubby don't get along? helloooo!!!
show me a couple that doesn't argue, and I'll show you a couple in complete denial!!! duh!!
Beside... making up is soooo sweet!

let me at em!!!


Young Momma said...

We got the same stuff! Except my oldest was only 8 months old when I got pregnant with my youngest!! I have to tell you though - having them so close in age was the best thing!! We did have kids in diapers together for a long time, and we did have diaper bags and two car seats and the whole mess, but I loved it. Diapers don't get more expensive because you have them in diapers at the same time! You'd be paying the same prices, just at different times in life. lol We got a ton of criticism for having them so close together or when we were so unsure of our own careers, but everything works itself out. I also had to learn the lesson of not sharing info about my relationship with anyone. People are too quick to judge and just don't realize that it's just what married people do. We argue, we fight, and we work it out. I'm excited for you! :) Screw them! lol

Serenity said...

Don't let people take away your thunder. Ignore them...they should learn to keep their mouths shut. You are an amazing woman and mother and wife. Don't let people get you down and don't let their stupidity get you up in arms...I say they are just
I went through some of those comments between Alex and Maria... some people just can't be happy....

Congrats again on your pregnancy...I am just so tickled for the fam!!!

Mrs*M said...

I am sorry that you have had such harsh comments. Bringing a new life into the world is an amazing miraculous feet. Anyone that is trying to steal your joy is not worth the energy it takes to get upset. My MIL had her 3 boys 2 years apart from each other. She always said it was the best thing for her and them. As far as people weighing in on your relationship - they should mind their own business! Next time someone says something like that to you refer them to this quote I read in a Chicken Soup for the Soul book "Just because two people fight doesn't mean that they don't love each other or just because they don't fight that they do love each other."


MommaKiss said...


And you got a set to actually write about this, for real. Awesome. Some people just don't have filters, don't have taste or don't have class.

Your "family planning" is your business, no one elses. Last I checked, the whole p in the v was personal - resulting in a baby? even more personal. Eff. Them.

Girl - pull up that "loving two" poem. Often. That's all that matters, you, your man and your kids.

alison said...

i am amazed at the ppl in your life that would have the gall to say these things!! clearly they don't know you. anyone who DOES would know you can handle anything you WANT to... obviously having this baby now is something you wanted, and only YOU know what you can handle. you'll continue to rock whatever you do!