Saturday, September 4, 2010

Let's Just Be Honest Here...

I started this 30 days of truth and well...I am not doing so well with it.  The kid's birthday party is tomorrow and we've been busy getting things ready to host 40 people.  It was only going to be 22 but then late RSVPs made the list grow to yes, we've been busy.'s time to get back to the honesty thing.  I have a bazillion days to catch up on it feels like - so be forewarned this will be a long post.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Oh this is so cliche...but I hope to be alive long enough to meet my grandchildren.

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Bury someone I love.  I know I will have to but I have a fear of it.  A huge fear.  I NEVER EVER EVER want to have to bury one of my children but I also don't want to lose my husband, my mom, my dad, my siblings, my friends, no one.  Yes, it's inevitable but the thought of it brings me anxiety.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

My husband.  My kids.  My family.  I know that's more than one someone but they all make my existence on this earth worth every single second.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Well, I can say ex-boyfriends.  BUT, in reality I guess the only person to blame here is me.  I stayed in horrible abusive (verbal/emotional) relationships.  I allowed to be treated that way.  But I also found my self-respect, self-worth and self-love and walked away.  Perhaps they will be part of my Friday flip off next week!

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Various friends in my life.  I am sure we all go through that.  But the whole "reason, season, lifetime" bit is completely true in my life.  Each person is or was in my life for a reason and for that I am truly truly grateful for everyone.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Hmmm.  I can't really think of anyone.  I have learned to let go of toxic people and right now I don't think I have any toxic people in my life. 

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Oh gosh this is hard.  I don't take compliments well AT ALL.  Um.  Hmmm.  The fact I have a giving nature?  I've been told I am a great mom...but again, I'm not so sure that's true.  Wow.  This is sad.  I think I need to listen more.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

My figure.  Sigh.  Kids will do that to you!

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Write a letter?  To a band?  Hmmm.  I don't even want to answer this.  You will all laugh.  Literally.  But since I have to be honest...NKOTB.  Yes, laugh.  Get it out.  Now back in the day - I lived for those guys.  I was positive I was going to marry one of them.  I just knew it.  During those junior high/high school days (yup - just dated myself) when I'd have a bad day - I could just daydream and everything would be better.  Yeah can stop laughing now.  Kind of a silly truth - but reminds me of my youth!  :)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Lot's of letter writing going on.  To be honest I don't know if I have one of these either.  I will have to think on it and if I come up with something I will finish this one later!

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

My husband.  Before we were married we broke up.  I remember that time - it was truly devastating to me.  I was so heartbroken.  I was looking for places to live and starting to pack stuff.  Luckily it only lasted a very short time and now we are married with two beautiful daughters!  :)

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