Thursday, October 16, 2008

YOU are worth living for

WARNING: This post is about suicide. If you have lost someone to suicide and think you will find this post too difficult to read, please click out of it now. If you are contemplating suicide or know someone who may be, I encourage you to keep reading.

With that being said...

I love Dr. Phil. I admit, I am one of *those* that actually like him. I think he's real in what he says and he lays it out for you - whether you are ready to hear it or not. I appreciate that in someone and feel we can all learn from someone like that.

The other night his show was about suicide. He mentioned the movie The Bridge. It is about a guy who set up cameras in 2004 and recorded the happenings at the Golden Gate Bridge. Twenty-four people committed suicide that year. My sister in law had told me about it previously and I don't know why it intrigued me, but it did. So I watched it.

It made me so sad because all the people that committed or attempted suicide (one guy survived the jump) left behind people that loved them so much. Life is ALWAYS worth living for. ALWAYS. No matter what you are going through, no matter what anyone goes through that committs suicide, there is NEVER anything that is *that bad* that is worth ending your life. There is ALWAYS help available. There is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel. There is ALWAYS someone that will be there for you. The situation that seems so bleak and horrible in the moment is NEVER as bad as it seems right then.

I have personally known two people that have taken their own life. One did it over a guy breaking up with her. It's so sad. She was so young. She would have gotten through it and what seemed so horrible at the time would have gotten better, she would have healed, she would have moved on to bigger and better things. We all do when our heart is broken. The other person I knew, no one knows why he did it. No note. No problems that anyone knew of. Nothing.

I want to encourage all of you if you know someone who has joked around about suicide or has talked about it...PLEASE listen to them.

Here are some warning signs to really pay attention to:

  • Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself

  • Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills or other means

  • Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person

  • Feeling hopeless

  • Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger, or seeking revenge

  • Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking

  • Feeling trapped, like there's no way out

  • Increasing alcohol or drug use

  • Withdrawing from friends, family and society

  • Feeling anxious, agitated or unable to sleep, or sleeping all the time

  • Experiencing dramatic mood changes

  • Seeing no reason for living, or having no sense of purpose in life

What to Do if You See Warning Signs:

  • Take the person seriously and realize that he or she is not joking but is telling you his or her plans.

  • Call 911.

  • If the danger is imminent, reach out for help by calling a suicide crisis line such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255).

  • Encourage the person to seek mental help.

  • Don't give up on the person. Check in with him or her constantly. Let the person know that you want him or her to be safe and well, and that professional treatment is the best way to do that.

You can also find help online by going here

If you are contemplating suicide...PLEASE get help. PLEASE speak to someone. You are NOT alone. People care about you. People want you around. People need you. I want you around. I care about you. PLEASE click on the link above if you need help or call 1-800-273-TALK(8255) just to talk to someone. Please. YOU are so worth living for...even if it doesn't feel that way now. YOU are worth so much!

Sorry for the downer post but if I could save just one's worth it.


Anonymous said...

I'm so sad I missed this episode. I would have been really interested in watching it.

Good post. Maybe someone randomly googeling something about suicide will come across this post & it will make a difference.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I have been the one thinking of suicide before...I am thankful that I never went through with it...but I think it leads to a lesson about letting those we love KNOW they are loved, and leaving the door open. Unfortunatly, there are just times where we cannot help someone who feels death is the only answer...That was a touching post

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting this. I have attempted suicide in the past and am in a better place now. I had some of the warning signs listed and no one caught on. I am glad I am not in that dark place anymore and perhaps if I were, your post may have made a difference.

God Bless.

Anonymous said...

I lost a sister to suicide. After that happened I considered it for myself. I had lost her when I was was 7 months pregnant. At 8 months pregnant my ex-husband left me. It was at the lowest point of my life. I also developed post-partum depression after my son was born.

I had a friend recognize how I was feeling and really encouraged me to get help. I am so thankful for her because I would have left my beautiful son without a mother. I also would have never met my current husband who is the most amazing man and the best father. I am thankful for the help I got. I hope if someone reading this is considering it that they will get help too. Things do turn around. Things do get better.

Anonymous said...

I also seriously considered suicide at one point in my life. Like your friend, it was over a guy breaking up with me. I think that is so ridiculous now. I was young and never had my heart broke before. I remember getting my mom's sleeping pills and taking 12 of them. It ended up with me confessing to my mom right after I took them and then me ending up in the ER. I got counseling after that and cannot even fathom doing that now. Like you said, life IS worth living. For all of us.

I am glad you wrote this. It was touching. It reminded me once again how precious life is.

Kimmy said...

WOW Denise!! This is a wonderful post!! I hope it helps someone in that time right now!!
I'm wondering about "your friend". Was it R.D.(initials)? I had just seen her at my job a month or so before and she seemed happy too. She will be missed! I think about her all the time.

Kimmy said...

I just pulled the website up for The Bridge. I haven't seen the movie yet but already feel the sadness of it. OMG, I pray none of my loved ones ever become this desperate. I better watch the signs!! I am now stressing for Sabrina for when she gets to be older cause I notice the ages listed on the message board on that website. The whole boyfriend thing is really gonna worry me *sigh*

Denise said...

I started to worry about Emily with boyfriends too! I know she's young but I would just hate for her to do what RD did (yes you had it right) over something SO petty. Sure, heartbreak SUCKS but it isn't worth it! I sure hope I can be there for her and educate her enough to know there is always something better just around the corner!

Darcie said...

I lost a friend to suicide 10 years ago. He'd been wrapped up in drugs for a while, had dropped out of high school a few months shy of graduation, and had sort of receded from our group. I hadn't really spoken to him since he dropped out.

No one knows why he did it, at least not that I'm aware of. He'd been planning it though. He lived near a set of train tracks and had been timing the trains so he could pull the trigger when a train was going by. Horribly sad. My friend was really close with him and he really took a piece of her with him when he died.

Suicide is really, truly awful. Good post.

Anonymous said...

I just watched the movie. It was so sadly tragic. I can't imagine standing on the edge of that bridge thinking that jumping off is the answer.

It is just sad. But thank you for sharing this. I am glad I watched it.

Trina said...

I just watched this thru your was very sad! One day I will walk that bridge and remember all of those will be right by my side!
Love you...
ps...I remembered my password! lol!

Anonymous said...

I saw your blog on someone else's page today. I felt compelled to thank you for writing this post. I lost a best friend to suicide. It broke my heart when it happened and still breaks my heart every day. I should have done something but I don't think there was any more I could have done. You can't help being left with the "what ifs" though.

It is such a horribly selfish thing for someone to do. They don't realize how much the people left behind suffer. Maybe if they did, they would still be here.