Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sunday Thoughts...

Sometimes I wish I was a more outgoing person. I wonder why I am so shy and quiet if I don't know people? I have always been this way...a type of social-anxiety I guess. I tend to get anxious when I have to go to events that I really won't know people at. Sure, I may know one or two people, but I can't just hang with them the entire time because they will know others and will also hang out with them. Plus...in situations like this, it's weird to follow someone around the entire time, isn't it? Maybe that's just me overthinking?

I tend to find it hard to strike up conversations when faced with these social events. I notice that my voice is quiet when I talk. What is that all about? Is it low self-esteem? Is it from childhood? Is it a friggen disorder? I don't know. Maybe I should look into it?

Now, I can say, if I know you already...I am totally fine. If I know you some-what...I am fine then too...for the most part. I will probably be a tad more quiet than I would be with someone that I know well. If I am drinking and have a slight buzz, I am totally fine then too. I guess it's that liquid courage they speak about. I love me some liquid courage! :)

I am envious of my husband when it comes to being social. He has NO problem talking to complete strangers. He has NO problem in social situations where he doesn't know a soul. He will make friends with people he doesn't know, or at a minimum, at least be able to strike up a conversation. He doesn't care if he makes a fool out of himself. He is just *that* guy that everyone likes. I wish I could be more outgoing like that but it isn't who I have been my entire life. Maybe it is someone I can become - but it feels like a difficult task!

I have other friends and family that are like my husband too. They have no problem talking to anyone and everyone. I have always admired them for their outgoingness (is that a word?).

Maybe I am the only shy/quiet one in my circle of friends and family? It is REALLY funny to me that some of my friends and family never believe me when I say I am shy and quiet. They tell me they have never seen that part of me. Maybe they haven't because I am comfortable around them? I don't know? But I would think at SOME point they would have seen that? Perhaps when I first met some of my friends? I don't know? Maybe I do a better job socially than I think??? Hmmmm...likely? Perhaps not. But maybe?

4 comments:

Darcie said...

I'm a quiet one too. I'm boisterous and outgoing, funny, even a smart-ass when I'm with people I know, but if I'm around new people or people I deem "better" than me, I shrink into the background and stop talking all-together. I was never like that until I moved out here; back east, where I'm comfortable, I talked to anybody and everybody. I don't know what happened...

Baby Momma said...

When we first met I thought you were a little shy, but that quickly changed!

Sorry I was so busy yesterday. It was hard to get around to everyone without feeling like you are neglecting others... I know you weren't directing this to me, but I feel bad anyway ;)

Believe it or not, I too am shy when first meeting people.

Kimmy said...

Boy, we REALLY do have a lot in common!!! Like you said in my blog, I could have written this cause I fell the exact same way, the anxiety and all. I make up excuses sometimes not to go somewhere cause I get too nervous. People used to think I was stuck up cause I was so quiet. Me? Stuck up??? No way!!

Jori-O said...

Wandered over from Mama Kat's page...I love your background! And I can COMPLETELY relate to you when it comes to the whole shyness around strangers thing. I question myself unceasingly too...should I have done that? Should I say this? Aarghhh! I have started to make a real effort to be a better conversationalist and I pay really close attention to the people around me who seem so at ease (my hubby too!). It does seem like a big task, but good luck!