Just A Reminder...

I went to my first firefighter funeral today. It was pretty sad. I did not know the man that passed away, but he sure seemed like a WONDERFUL human being that touched so many people's lives. He was the father to hubby's Captain at work. He was a retired Battalion Chief with over 30 years of service.

I was NOT looking forward to hearing the last alarm. I had heard stories of how sad it was (from hubby) but had never experienced in person. Today I did.

Although I didn't know the deceased, I cried a lot. I couldn't help but imagine being at hubby's funeral. As the wife of a firefighter, hearing that last alarm and those bagpipes...you can't help but feel...well...I can't even put it into words. It just REALLY pulled at my heart. I had a lump in my throat the entire way home.

The other thing I realized is that not only was I thinking about hubby's funeral and how that could be him at any time - but I started thinking about everyone in my life. My parents. My uncles. My aunts. My friends. Myself. My daughter. We all die. It is inevitable. There is no way around it. It is something we all have no choice but to experience throughout our life. We experience losing someone we love and eventually, we die as well.

I thought about what a lot of people said at the funeral that spoke, and I thought about what I heard from others who have lost someone they love. Those words are usually "I wish I had..." or "I should have..." or "I could have..." or "If only...".

My reminder to you is to NOT wait until it is too late. Say what you need to RIGHT NOW. Say it, write it, text it, email it. Let everyone know how you feel. Let them know as often as possible. Don't say to yourself "I am in a hurry, they know I love them"...take those extra minutes to TELL them. It only takes a few seconds.

If you are having issues with a loved one, make amends NOW. I think about my father who lost his dad recently and I heard him say all of that..."I wish I had..." and the "If only...". He could have made amends, but he didn't. Now it's too late. It's not easy. It is NEVER easy to tell someone how much you love them when they have hurt you. It is NEVER easy to tell someone "I am so sorry for what I did" when it has caused distance. BUT...WHAT IF that someone whom you really want to make amends to dies right now? You will NEVER have had your time. You would NEVER have been able to say "sorry" and move on and bridge those divides. You will only be left with the "I wish I had..." "I should have..." "If only...". DON'T do that to yourself.

Life is sooooooooooooo short. Life is sooooooo precious. You just never know when your turn or your loved one's turn is. Don't "wait" thinking you or another person has a long time left...you just NEVER know. It's so important to let everyone know NOW how you feel.

AND...I sure hope when I am gone that everyone will know how much I love them. I too need to remember to tell people every single day how much I love them and how much they mean to me. That is going to be my new mission. When I think it...I am going to say it - whether that is by text, email, phone call, letter, or in person.

I hope you will all do the same!

Hi, I am Denise and I am an addict.

Well, some of you may or may not know this...but I am an addict. A Facebook addict that is. When I first joined Facebook - I HATED it. I loved Myspace and thought Facebook was lame. Now...I find myself checking it on my iphone all the time. I find myself checking it on my home computer. I am just one of the many that are obsessed with it...even at my old age!

At any rate, there is a thing going around - 25 random things about yourself. I LOVE reading it about everyone and thought I'd do one here. I am tagging EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU to do this too! It's a lot of fun to read - even if you don't think there is much to say! :)

So here are 25 things you may or may not know about me:

1. There are many times that I am extremely shy and quiet around people I don't really know. I am NOT bitchy or stuck-up - just shy, quiet and feeling a little insecure.

2. I sometimes watch my daughter play. I will stand around the corner to where she can't see me and just watch her. It is SO heart-warming.

3. I am afraid of failing in any aspect of my life.

4. I have poor eating habits. I don't like fruits and veggies.

5. I don't like to cook. I CAN cook. I just don't like it. I am GLAD hubby is a firefighter and knows how to cook!

6. Being a firefighter's wife isn't always the easiest thing. Hubby works a minimum of 48 hours away from the house a week. I sometimes wonder how women manage to see their husbands every single day and not go insane! LOL!

7. I absolutely HATE clothes shopping for myself.

8. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my alone time...I just rarely get it!

9. I wish my brother and I were closer.

10. I miss my grandma so much. There isn't a day I don't think of her. I also feel her around me sometimes.

11. I believe in spirits and ghosts. I have even had a few experiences I can't explain.

12. I love reality tv. Heck - I just LOVE tv!

13. I DO NOT like change. It's a very difficult thing for me.

14. I worry that I am not a good mommy.

15. I have a huge fear of ants. I can handle one or two, but any more than that and I FREAK out (like literally scream). I would much rather battle a spider than ants!

16. I want to be pregnant again - although it scares the crap out of me thinking of raising TWO young ones!!

17. I absolutely HATE when people can't take responsibility for being wrong. I get all worked up when someone will just make excuse after excuse for hurting someone instead of just admitting that yes, they were wrong and yes, their actions were hurtful and selfish. I think I hate that in other people so much because I find it really hard to admit when I am wrong too.

18. I absolutely HATE HATE HATE HATE when people lie. Just tell me the truth. Don't sugar coat it. Don't beat around the bush. Don't make up stories that aren't true. Just be honest...because after all, the truth will ALWAYS surface. It may not be today, it may not be next month...but the truth will ALWAYS come out. (This is my BIGGEST pet peeve!!!)

19. I LOVE the ocean. I just don't necessarily like the beach.

20. I have learned to not give advice unless it is specifically asked for. This is something VERY hard for me. Sometimes I think it comes across as uncaring. But it isn't that I don't care, I just think some people need to learn the things in their life THEIR way and not have anyone else's influence in those decisions. I learned this lesson in my own personal life when I was going through something and 94358024582430975 different people had something to say. Once I took a step back and thought about the situation and what I truly wanted - not what everyone else said...I made the RIGHT decision - and the BEST decision I could have made! Had I listened to everyone else...I would NOT be as happy as I am right now.

21. I do not like the summer. I HATE being hot and sweaty. I DO NOT wear shorts or a bathing suit with confidence. I prefer any other month but summer. (But if it is summer and a nice day - not too hot - then I LOVE it! Does that make any sense?? LOL!)

22. I am envious of those that can squat down, run, ski, do the elliptical, play any sport, or just walk anywhere without worry. I have REALLY bad knees that do not allow me to do something as simple as squat down to the munchkin's level. If I want to squat down - I have to put one knee down. I wish I could do something as simple as squat like any other normal parent.

23. I CANNOT stand when people are prejudice. It makes my skin crawl.

24. I am SO ready for a girls night or weekend away (preferably the weekend)! It took me almost 16 months to be ready - but I am SOOOO ready for one now! I think I deserve one!!!

25. I hope that some day my hubby and I can take a honeymoon!

Now it's YOUR turn. Let me know 25 things about YOU! :)

Thankful for This Past Weekend...

This past weekend I found a lot of things to be thankful for.

1. I was thankful that I was able to attend my friend's daughter's birthday party. I had the munchkin with me and couldn't stay as long as I wanted - but was happy to watch the kids ice skate and listen to the munchkin literally SCREAM "weeeee" as everyone passed by!

2. I was thankful that I got to see some friends (Becky, Monica, Sara) that I have not seen in a while.

3. I was thankful that my sister-in-law rode up there with me and kept me company in the car!

4. I was thankful that I found some snow gloves for the munchkin! I almost ordered some for $15 online but found some on clearance for $3.75! :)

5. I was thankful I got to see my mom on Sunday for a bit.

6. I was thankful my mom let us borrow some movies she bought this weekend. I HIGHLY recommend Milk. It's a GREAT movie. I can't wait to watch another one tonight!

7. I was thankful that on Sunday I got my studying done for one of my classes, was able to change into pjs and watch the movie!

8. I was thankful I didn't fall asleep (that is a miracle if you ask me!) when watching it!

9. I was thankful that after the movie that hubby and I had a longgg talk just about life and such. We haven't talked like that in a long time! It felt great!

10. I was thankful that all my bloggy friends were there for me when I was feeling kind of sad! :) Thank you for that!

Now it's your turn! Tell me about your weekend! :)

Thankful Tuesday!!

Welcome to Thankful Tuesday! I hope you will take the time to participate this week! It is a great feeling to stop and reflect on all the things you are thankful for! It can do wonders for a bad mood and can do wonders to remind you of the little things that sometimes we all take for granted!

So for this week's assignment...

Your topic is:

THIS PAST WEEKEND. What about this past weekend made you feel thankful?

So what you do is simple...

1. Post a new blog listing ten things that you are thankful for in regards to this week's topic! Feel free to do more than 10!

2. Be sure to link my blog somewhere in your post. (Shameless plug...I know!)

3. Come back later on in the day (after I have posted my post (which will probably be some time around 10 California time)) and sign Mr. Linky that will be at the bottom of my post. This will let everyone know you have participated.

4. Leave a comment for the person that signed above you (or if you are first, leave a comment for me).

5. If you are feeling generous, leave a comment for at least 3 people...or even more!

That's it! :) Pretty simple! Now get to work!

Because I Am Bored...

Still feeling sad from last night (read post below) - but doing this to get my mind off of it! (By the way - can you believe the munchkin woke up at friggen 345!!!! WHO DOES THAT!!!! Her obviously!) I am one tired momma!

(TAG! YOU ARE IT! Copy and post this on your blog ASAP!) What is this?

Well, you’re supposed to bold the things you’ve done so readers
can find out how you've led an awesome life so far.
(wink,wink!)

Here's what I have done in bold...

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Sometimes...

Sometimes I miss my carefree days. Sometimes I miss being able to go and hang out with the girls, drinking, talking, laughing, doing silly things. Sometimes I miss not having the huge responsibility. Sometimes I miss not being able to stay places as long as I'd like.

Tonight was my friend's daughter's birthday. I got there in time just to stay for a tiny bit and then head home. My friend Becky was down and I didn't get to spend much time with her either. I miss her a lot. I miss all our fun times.

Back in the day, after the birthday party, we would have all hung out, had some drinks, laughed, talked, whatever. Tonight...all that will still go on. But without me. I have a munchkin asleep in the other room. No silliness tonight from me, unless you count blogging and studying as silliness...which I guess in a way - it is!

Can't help but feel a tad sad tonight. As I started rocking the munchkin to sleep, I felt as if I was missing out. Missing out on the deep conversations, the girl things we use to do pre-munchkin days. Since having the munchkin I rarely see Becky. I didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw her tonight. Sometimes I feel that I have grown apart from most of my other girl friends. Our friendship went to a different level. I am not in the same place they are anymore.

But, looking at that little munchkin as she was drifting off to sleep, it reminded me that even though I miss my friends sometimes, it's worth it.

My update...

So I had school Thursday night and again today (Friday). I wasn't the oldest person in my class on Thursday but today - I think I was.

Last night I left pretty early because usually on the first day of class it is SO packed and parking is ridiculous and so is everything else. So I got to campus and was wondering if I was there on the wrong day. There was SO MUCH parking.

I finally made my way to class - took a seat in the 2nd row like a good little pupil. There was a lady probably close to my age in front of me that was trying to add the class and asked this girl next to me (probably about 19) if she could see her book. She said no. Rude. So I told her she could look at mine.

Then another girl around the age of 18 or so decided to open her mouth:

GIRL: Why did you get that book? That's the wrong one! You are suppose to look at the little things in the bookstore that say what books you need. Did you read it?

ME: I did. It said to get this one and the lab one.

GIRL: No, you only needed this one (holding up the $10 lab book).

ME: That's just the lab book isn't it.

GIRL: Um..no.

ME: Well...the teacher for the other chemistry class happened to be there and showed me which books to get so these are the two I got.

GIRL: Well...you shouldn't listen to any other teacher but ours. Isn't that obvious. Why would you do that?

ME: Well - if I got the wrong book and spent $100 on it - I'll just return it - no biggie.

Do you know much I LOVEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD it when the teacher held up the RIGHT books to have and I had the right ones and she didn't have the book - AND had the wrong lab book! :) Yes...I was immature and looked at her when he held them up! She didn't even look at me! :)

So that class was full of REALLY young kids. One of them I think was so young that she must still be in high school. Her mom walked her to class, brought her dinner in the middle of class and waited outside the door for her. Weird. There was a couple there that was probably 18/19 as well and they decided it would be fun to hang all over each other in the lab.

The teacher ROCKS. He is so laid back and actually got me excited about a subject I have NEVER had an interest in - EVER. :) It may be a good class - until we get to the hard part! :)

Today was longggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. It is a friggen SEVEN HOUR CLASS. Starts at 9 ends at 4 plus it's about a 45 minute drive with traffic for me. The teacher...well...he's quite a talker. He doesn't believe in note taking. He has done all our note taking and flash cards and whatever else online. School sure has evolved because I am a huge note taker. Or at least I was. He REALLY discouraged taking notes in class unless you ABSOLUTELY had to.

I got to class 15 minutes early but still had to sit in the front row because it was packed. I prayed not to be picked on - but God didn't answer my prayers. We had to do a lab where we had to measure our height, weight and waist size. He picked a girl next to me to do the height. Lucky. I got picked to do the waist. It brought back horrible memories of my baby shower where they take the string to measure how big your belly is. Well...same concept here. I even said it reminded me of my baby shower out loud! LOL!

The majority of the class was lecture on sex. I think I saw one too many pictures of STDs today. I think I also heard one too many giggles about being pregnant. It's funny that all the young girls would cringe and giggle when the teacher talked about child birth and checking the cervix and whatever. Oh do they have something in store for them!

In the lab I was lucky enough to sit next to a really cool girl! I made a friend! I was glad about that. On the way out she told me she was sitting next to me next Friday and I said I sure hope so. She then made my laugh by saying "because I am not one of the 18/19 year olds in there - I need someone more my age!" I asked how old she was...25. LOL! I had to laugh. I guess that is the closest person in there to my age - LITERALLY. I told her I was almost 10 years older than her! :) It was cute.

So now I am home - was debating doing homework but I didn't sleep AT ALL last night. I had a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE headache that kept me awake. Usually I can go to sleep but last night I couldn't. I think I MAYBE slept for 1/2 an hour - if that.

So now it's off to catch up on Grey's Anatomy and then off to bed!

'til next time...

Because I Was Tagged...

I am SO tired from school (that post will be next) and I am just wanting to do some mindless stuff before I go to bed.

So...here goes! :)

I was tagged from Young Momma over at Perfect Pen and I am thankful for this right now! :)

Rules: Post the list on your profile replacing my answers with yours. Tag 25 people to do the same. Don't forget to Tag me back.If I tagged YOU, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I sure was - my first and middle name is after my uncle.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I got teary eyed leaving for school this morning but didn't cry. CRY CRY would be...hmmm...not sure!

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
If I take my time - yes. I rarely take my time.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Toss up between salami and roast beef...well now that I think about it - I love black forest ham too! So it's a toss up between all three!

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
The best little munchkin ever!

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Not just yes - but hell yes! LMAO!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Never! LMAO!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
I sure do!

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Well - I am afraid of heights...and afraid of falling from said heights...so the answer would be HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Well...am I dieting? If so, and even if I am not dieting - it would be Multi-Grain Cheerios. But I LOVE Cookie Crisp (do they make that any more?), Lucky Charms, Kix, Applejacks, - pretty much all the ones that aren't good for you!

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No - they don't have laces

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
chocolate chip cookie dough

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
The way they carry themselves

14. RED OR PINK?
hmmm - right now...I'll go with red - I am in a red mood!

15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Lack of confidence in myself

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My grandma! :( :( :(

17. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST??
Of course

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
No shoes. Black sweats

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
the hum of the computer

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
yellow

21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Mountain Air

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Hubby

23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS NOTE?
I do! :)

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Baseball!!! Go GIANTS! (that was her answer - now I love her even more!!!)

25. HAIR COLOR?
Brown

26. EYE COLOR?
brown/green/gold - they change depending on mood or what I wear

27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No

28. FAVORITE FOOD?
pizza

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings

30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I am not sure - I tend to start watching a lot of movies but then fall asleep!

31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Navy Blue - it's hubby's FD shirt

32. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter

33. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs

34. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Lately it has been Boston cream pie - but I LOVE cheesecake or ice cream

35. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Hmmm.... I don't really know! I am not sure who I am going to tag yet - if anyone!

36. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Again - not sure

37. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Jodi Piccoult's Keeping Faith (and school books)

38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
it's all blue

39. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
I didn't watch tv - but it's recorded and waiting for me to watch it after this!

40. FAVORITE SOUND(S)?
Emilia (her new nickname - she calls me Mommia and I call her Emilia) laughing so hard she snorts - like earlier!

41. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Hmmmm ask me tomorrow

42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Washington DC

43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Hmmmm...well. I know how to tap dance. Does that count?

44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
The Bay Area - California!

45. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Everyone

46. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Should I dare say...okay...I will.

A friggen bar! LMAO!

Tagging:

Everyone that wants to do this! :)

F F F F

No...I am not cussing with the title of this post - although I should be! I haven't done Kimmys Fabulous Foto Friday in what feels like forever!!! The title of my post actually stands for Fabulous Foto Friday - FINALLY! I should be fired from doing this, put into detention, have my name written on the board - whatever!

So today is actually Wednesday, munchkin is napping and I DID NOT want to miss it this week so am writing this now and scheduling it for Friday. Since I will be in school alllllll day (and it will be that way every Friday until June) hopefully Kimmy will be nice enough to link me on Mr. Linky! (Or rather...hey Kimmy...could you do me a favor and link me on Mr. Linky each Friday - PRETTY PLEASE??)

At any rate...here are some pics from when we went to the Museum of Natural Science in San Francisco:

I obviously couldn't get enough of these pictures (and I actually have a lot more of this moment). The munchkin was looking at the sting rays and sharks and just LOVING it! It was the first place she stopped and she was just so mesmerized by it! I grabbed the camera out of the bottom of the jam-packed stroller, headed on over to a different spot and snapped these pics!


Yes...she is eating the railing in this one...gross!



Here is the munchkin on a turtle. She wasn't too sure how she felt about it. A few seconds after this was snapped she started to get a little nervous and cried!

Here is the munchkin looking at the fishies in a fish tank. She LOVES fishies! :)

Here she is at this really neat exhibit where it appears there are bugs and plants on the floor...but it is all super-imposed somehow. There were SO many people in there - it was hard to get a good shot!

Here she is with more fishies...





It was a REALLY fun day. It was also REALLY expensive. Did you know you can get 2 turkey sandwiches, 2 bags of chips, 4 egg rolls and 2 drinks for...$41!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INSANE!

BUT...it was all worth it! I wish we had more time because we got there a little late and then they closed at 5. We'll definitely need to head out there again sometime soon! :)

Now if you want to participate in the fun...head on over to Kimmy's page and play along! :)

Thinking Out Loud...

Starting school tonight. In fact...in about 3.5 hours class will begin. I am nervous, excited, happy, sad...all mixed up in one big ball of emotion!

I am so excited because I am doing something new! I don't like to do new things - I am a creature by habit and DO NOT care for change. BUT...I think of the possibilities, I think of the future and it excites me.

I am nervous because well...it's change! Like I said, I don't like it. We are not friends. I worry that I will not like school - because honestly...I am not a school person. But, I am older and wiser now and think I will take school on in an entirely different way than when I was younger...or so I hope! I worry I won't like the new career path I am pursuing. I worry it will be a waste of time and money. I worry I will fail. I worry I won't be able to juggle everything AND school in my life. I worry about crazy little things like not finding parking on the first day (because parking there SUCKS) and then finding myself late to class only to not have a seat to sit in - or to be kicked out for being late. I worry that I will be the oldest person in class. I worry that I will not have a lab partner. I worry people won't like me. I am shy and come across as bitchy/stuck up - but it's only because I am quiet and shy. I worry people won't realize that and I will be *that* girl that no one wants to talk to and people pray they don't have to be a lab partner with! I worry that I will have to read out loud in class and won't be able to pronounce some long scientific word and people will laugh. Honestly...I LITERALLY think of these things. I also worry it will be like it use to be 12 years ago when I went to college and I will have to stand up and tell everyone my name and age and something *unique* about myself. I don't think there are many things unique to share! Like I said...yes...I actually think like this!

I am happy that I am doing something for ME. I rarely do anything for me. I am always putting people before me (which isn't always the healthiest thing). It actually feels good to be able to put myself first for a change - but that takes an adjustment too!

I am sad I will miss time away from the munchkin and hubby. Since the munchkin has been born I have been the one to be with her every single day. I have not been away from her since she was born. There will be two nights a week I will not be home to put her to bed. Although I am okay with it...part of it makes me sad too!

So that is everything I am thinking about right at this very moment. I have one small butterfly in my tummy and am hoping the butterfly doesn't invite his friends so they can all flutter away in there. I have a feeling the closer it gets to 6pm - the more of this one butterfly's friends will be in there having a party!

Wish me luck! I'll let you all know if I survive! :)

Hmmm...Let Me Think...

So Matt over at My Side of the Story participated in an interview and asked if anyone else wanted to participate! Knowing that I love survey-type things and generally things of this nature - I raised my hand, jumped up and down and waited for my questions!

So...here they are:

1) Please describe a typical day in the life of Denise and family

Ha! A typical might bore you to tears. In fact, I know it will. Starts with waking up at some ungodly hour because the munchkin has decided she no longer wants to be asleep. Get up, feed her, feed myself and then she plays, I play, I blog, I get online, whatever.

Nap for the munchkin, shower for me.

Errands, playing, visiting people, cleaning, work at home, whatever happens to fall into the day. Every so often...maybe even a day trip somewhere fun if hubby is home!
Lunch. Dinner. Bath for the munchkin, nigh nigh (how she says it) for the munchkin and then tv or reading for me until I fall asleep. Sometimes...friends will be here so drinking, tv or guitar hero and tv with some drinks and then nigh nigh for myself!

SUPER BORING LIFE! BUT...there are days I go into the office and deal with people going through difficult situations. Some days are so hard at work, some days there are not so bad.

2) What changes to you think are in store for you in 2009?

HUGE changes for me. As of tomorrow, I am going back to school. I haven't been in school in 12 YEARS! That is a mighty long time. It will be a huge adjustment not just for me, but for hubby and munchkin too. It will take hubby re-arranging his work schedule so someone can watch the munchkin and it will mean more time away from my family than I am use to.

It will also mean less time running my business and as it is now...I barely have enough time to do that! It's SO scary for me right now...but I know good things will come of it!

3) What, if anything, would you change about yourself and why?

There are MANY changes I'd make about myself - but the first one would be my confidence - or lack thereof. I have such a low self esteem that I think if I worked on that and improved my confidence in a lot of areas in my life - A LOT of other changes would take place in my life!

4) You seem to be such a caring and loving person. Was there a time you didn't feel that love was reciprocated? Please explain

Oh yes. My grandma was dying at the beginning of last year. She was someone that was sooooooo very close to me. It was SO SO SO difficult for me and I really went through a tough time with it. In fact - I STILL have tough moments and she's been gone since August 1st. I had a friend - that was someone that I was EXTREMELY close to just not even give me ANY support whatsoever. It was SO hurtful. I know she had a lot going on - but I am always there for people (or at least try to be) when they are going through something this difficult. If I can't be there in person, I am emailing, texting, whatever, to let them know I care. What I got from this "close" friend of mine when she FINALLY asked how I was and how my grandma was - 5 days after she died...was:

"I am sorry ((hugs))" in an email.

That was it. It made me open my eyes to the kind of person she is and where exactly our friendship stood. It was pretty hurtful, downright painful. This was from someone who always seemed to be there for me before. I know she was worried about her son's speech issues, but I guess I just expected more than a "I am sorry ((hugs))" from someone I thought was one of my closest friends. :( Needless to say...from that moment on...I stopped talking to her. It opened my eyes to other things she had done too - that I wasn't aware of at the time. :(


5) If you could jump 20 years into the future and meet 21 year old Emily, what would you like to see her doing and what would you like to know from her?

BITE YOUR TONGUE! Or...err...SLAP YOUR HANDS!!! I don't want my daughter to be that old! I want her to stay how old she is right now!

BUT...I would LOVE for her to be happy in a career or pursuing her dreams of whatever it is she wanted to do with her life. I want her to be happy and healthy in all respects. If that means she meets some guy, falls in love, has munchkins of her own and is a stay-at-home-mom - I WANT her to have that - if that is what makes her happy. If she wants to pursue her education and find a career she is going to love - I want her to do that. If she doesn't know what the heck she wants to do - and wants to take some time figuring it out - I want her to do that too! I just want the ABSOLUTE very best for her - in whatever ways that may mean! I don't want her to hurt. I don't want her to go through difficult times. I know it is inevitable but I want to be there for her in every way possible when she does. I want to know she's happy. I want her to know I am her biggest advocate, her biggest support, her biggest cheerleader.

BUT...can I just have her stay this young forever???

So here is what you do if you want to play along...

If you would like me to interview you just leave a comment and I will email you the questions!

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions). (So make sure I can email you through your blog or whatever way!)

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

That's it! Pretty simple!

I Am Me...

It's always SO HARD for me to find things about myself that I like - or are even thankful for. That is not necessarily a good thing and I hope that I can start to love myself more and like myself more and if this assignment comes up again...be able to write without thinking forever...

So here goes...

1. I am thankful I am sitting right here at this computer. I am happy to be alive on this planet. I am thankful I am alive to watch history in the making today!

2. I am thankful that I can walk. I know that sounds funny - but I have two REALLY horrible knees that limit SO MUCH of what I can do. I complain about them and how they hurt when the weather changes or how I can't do fun things like snowboard or water ski - or heck...even run. BUT...I am thankful I have two functioning legs that allow me to walk around. Not everyone can say that.

3. I am thankful that I am a giving person. I feel I give of myself freely - meaning my heart and my love. I would give a stranger the shirt off my back if they needed it. Sometimes I am giving to a fault - but I like that about myself! :)

4. I am thankful that I have eyes that I can see with. I can see my daughter and my husband every day. I can see the world. I am blessed to have my sight because not everyone does.

5. I am thankful I have two functioning ears. My daughters voice when she calls me "Mommia" (her newest thing) is just so beautiful. I LOVE hearing her laugh. I am TRULY blessed to be able to enjoy that sound. Not everyone can hear.

6. I am thankful that I have had enough perseverance to make my business grow into a successful. Although it's been lacking lately because I need to tend to the munchkin, I am thankful that I believed in myself enough to accomplish it.

7. I am thankful that I am a risk taker. Okay. Not really. I am not a huge risk taker. BUT I am about to embark on an entirely new adventure in my life which makes me one. I am changing my career and trying something TOTALLY out of the norm for me and I am thankful that I am FOR ONCE taking that risk.

8. I am thankful that I am (wow I am finding it hard to think of something for this one!). I am thankful...hmmm... I know! I am thankful that my body worked well enough to give birth to a healthy daughter. Not everyone can give birth. Not everyone can get pregnant. I am so very thankful I was able to do so at least once in my life.

9. I am thankful (okay...stumped again...) I am thankful I am a forgiving person. If I were not a forgiving person, I would have a lot of bitterness in my heart and in my life that doesn't need to be there. I am thankful I have learned to let things go and have learned to forgive people. I am thankful they have forgiven me too.

10. I am thankful this is over because it's hard. Okay - that doesn't count. But I am thankful that I am who I am. I am not perfect. I have flaws believe it or not. No really. I do! I know that's SO hard to believe - but I really do have flaws! (Okay - kidding of course!). I am happy being who I am. Sure, we all can want more than we have but you know what??? I am content with who I am, how my life is and where it is going. I couldn't ask for anything more! :)

Now tell me - what are you thankful about yourself??

Thankful Tuesday

Welcome to Thankful Tuesday! I hope you will take the time to participate this week! It is a great feeling to stop and reflect on all the things you are thankful for! It can do wonders for a bad mood and can do wonders to remind you of the little things that sometimes we all take for granted!

So for this week's assignment...

Your topic is:

YOU. But...I am not looking for "I am thankful I have a nice husband" but more of what qualities do you posses that you are thankful for! (This is going to be a hard one for me!)

So what you do is simple...

1. Post a new blog listing ten things that you are thankful for in regards to this week's topic! Feel free to do more than 10!

2. Be sure to link my blog somewhere in your post. (Shameless plug...I know!)

3. Come back later on in the day (after I have posted my post (which will probably be some time around 10 California time)) and sign Mr. Linky that will be at the bottom of my post. This will let everyone know you have participated.

4. Leave a comment for the person that signed above you (or if you are first, leave a comment for me).

5. If you are feeling generous, leave a comment for at least 3 people...or even more!

That's it! :) Pretty simple! Now get to work!

Daddy's Girl...

Mama Kat is giving me something to blog about this week - thank goodness! I haven't been blogging like I normally do and haven't even been commenting like I normally do. I have been in stalker mode - stalking your blogs - but not necessarily commenting on them. Bad bad bloggy friend I am!

So I thought I'd take the challenge on (when actually it isn't a challenge) to do Mama Kat's assignment.

I picked number one. The subject: Describe your significant other's most attractive quality (on the inside).

Now there are a TRABILLION (my new word) of things I could write about...but the one that always melts my heart is the way he loves our little munchkin.

I remember when I found out I was pregnant - he was scared. I was scared. She was a surprise, we were not married, we had NO CLUE what to expect. I really wanted to know the sex of the baby and he was on the fence. But he obliged the hormonal pregnant woman (smart man he is) and we found out we were having a girl.

I remember him telling me he didn't know how to take care of a girl. He knew how to take care of a boy but not a girl. I told him over and over, "she'll have you wrapped around her little finger before you know it" and he just couldn't comprehend it. I explained the love between a father and a daughter and I don't think he truly *got* it either. I think he thought he would be a bad parent, or would not be good at the job. I assured him (or at least tried to) that he would be perfect as a father.

And I was right. I love it when I am right! :)

He is THE MOST amazing father. To see him love her the way he does just melts my heart. Each and every time he is with her, my heart LITERALLY melts. He is SO great with her. He knows EXACTLY how to take care of her and he does it so tenderly, so amazingly and so patiently (okay...99% of the time he does it patiently but anyone with small munchkins knows that you can't have patience 100% of the time).

I hear stories of when she was born and when he brought her out of the surgery room (I had an emergency c-section) that he walked out SO PROUD, SO in love and SO happy. I REALLY wish I could have seen that. Just writing about it makes my eyes all misty because it's just SO touching to hear everyone say how he paraded her around, dancing with her and showing her off. Everyone that was waiting remembers THAT moment more than anything else. I SO wish I could have seen it - but I was pretty much asleep in the other room from being SO exhausted from 3.5 hours of pushing only to never get anywhere (literally - we got NO where...well...besides in surgery!).

It's definitely been a HUGE learning experience for both of us. Neither of us knew what the heck to expect. But...we are in this together and I am SO proud. I only hope I can be as good a parent as he is. He has taught me a lot in the short 16 months that we have had her. He is an inspiration to me.

Thank You To My Friends...

I think I have been truly blessed in this life time to have such wonderful people that are not just friends...but family too. I think every single friend of mine I consider to be family. I am also really blessed to have met my online friends as well - even though I don't see them face-to-face does NOT mean that I love them any less!

1. I can admit that the friends I have are TRULY caring people. I went through A LOT in 2008 and I don't think that there was one true friend that didn't take time out of their lives to let me know I can lean on them and always checked in to remind me so. I had friends who had SO MUCH other stuff going on with children, husbands, work, life, whatever, and some of it serious stuff, but they were all right there next to me, making sure I am okay...sharing condolences...and holding my hand. Something I truly needed. Something I didn't ask for. Something I received anyways. How incredibly awesome is that?? I had never lost someone that I was that close to. It was very hard on me. A TRUE friend, in my opinion, doesn't get too wrapped up in themselves to not care about others. I am BLESSED that the people in my life now are not like that!

2. My friends can make me laugh so hard I have tears streaming down my face, I can't breathe, I am laying on the floor and am about to pee myself. THAT RIGHT THERE makes me SO very thankful!!

3. I have friends that have been encouraging me A LOT lately - especially when I need it. I am about to embark on an entirely new adventure in my life and I have, once again, true friends holding my hand, telling me I can do it, and BELIEVING in me!!! How can you NOT be thankful for those moments where your friends believe in you - even if you find it hard to believe in yourself??

4. I am thankful to have friends that don't "trip". Meaning...I have true friends that understand if I forget to wish them a happy birthday or happy anniversary ON THE DAY if I have something going on...like say...a funeral. They understand that I am probably going through a lot and to NOT wish them a happy anniversary is the least of their problems...they are more concerned about what I am going through rather than their own anniversary. It doesn't mean I don't care...just means that I will be wishing a belated anniversary rather than on that day.

5. I am thankful that my friends take time out of their busy, hectic lives to call me or email me (or facebook or myspace) me to ask me how the heck I am doing if I haven't been online or returning calls as often as I usually do. Sometimes, believe it or not, I go through hard times too. I go through times I can REALLY use a friend and I find it awesome that my friends KNOW that and tune into that when they haven't heard from me.

6. I am thankful that my friends whom I lost contact with are now back in my life. It's amazing that I lost two friends this year that I was very close with, but I gained two friends that I had lost contact with! Funny how that works!

7. I am thankful that I can be ME. I don't need to pretend to be something I am not. I don't have to pretend to like something I don't. I don't have to pretend to be anything other than ME. How can you NOT be thankful for friends like that!

8. I am thankful that my friends will come over and watch the munchkin when I have food poisoning and am throwing up and...errr...well...pooping...my entire insides out. They will come over to help with her in order to allow me to sleep or go to the doctor. They will dress the munchkin when I am too weak to and they will play with her when I can barely even move because I am too weak!

9. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned. My friends are there to tell me when I am doing good...or when I am screwing up. They will tell me how it is if I need to hear it. I am THANKFUL for that...even if I pout!

10. I am just thankful for being blessed with amazing people in my life. From my friends I know in real life...to all my internet friends that make me laugh, make me cry, make me think about things in an entirely new way...I am thankful. I am thankful for each and every person in my life - in whatever capacity they are in it. And for that...I couldn't be more blessed!

What about your friends make YOU thankful??

Thankful Tuesday!!

Welcome to Thankful Tuesday! I hope you will take the time to participate this week! It is a great feeling to stop and reflect on all the things you are thankful for! It can do wonders for a bad mood and can do wonders to remind you of the little things that sometimes we all take for granted!

So for this week's assignment...

Your topic is:

Friends.

So what you do is simple...

1. Post a new blog listing ten things that you are thankful for in regards to this week's topic! Feel free to do more than 10!

2. Be sure to link my blog somewhere in your post. (Shameless plug...I know!)

3. Come back later on in the day (after I have posted my post (which will probably be some time around 10 California time)) and sign Mr. Linky that will be at the bottom of my post. This will let everyone know you have participated.

4. Leave a comment for the person that signed above you (or if you are first, leave a comment for me).

5. If you are feeling generous, leave a comment for at least 3 people...or even more!

That's it! :) Pretty simple! Now get to work!

I Am Love! :)

So I was reading Becky's blog and she had this today. I thought I'd play along and this was my result:

Your Word is "Love"

You see life as possibility to form deep connections with a few people. Relationships are the center of your world, and you always take time to bond with those you love. You are caring and giving. You enjoy helping those you love. And when it comes to romantic love, you feel passionately ... even in a very long term relationship.

What's Your Word?

What is YOUR result???

Fabulous Foto Friday!

I have been trying to get back into my blogging habit lately! I have been slacking since before Christmas and it's been kind of hard to find the time to get back into the swing of things. It is obviously starting to get easier as I am posting more...but the posts and the time to do it just don't seem quite *there* yet.

This week, I am of course participating in Kimmy's Fabulous Foto Friday - and you should too!!! :)

The bad thing is...I have been horrible in taking pictures. I have two I can share - and of course - they are of the munchkin! They were taken from my phone and I realize it sure seems like that is all the picture taking I have done lately. Unacceptable. I need to be catching moments on film so I will hopefully do better next week! :)

So these are the only two pics I took this week so they will have to do! :) (Okay...I took others with my phone...they were uploaded to facebook and don't think my friend would want them on here!)


I always think she looks SO adorable with her pig tails so I am usually getting as many pics as I can with her in them! Both days - she actually kept them in her hair for quite some time! It seems like usually by the time we arrive at our destination (even if it is just down the street) her pigtails are out and her hair is all over the place! These two days she actually kept them in for a bit! :)

So that's it this week. Hopefully next week I will have more!! :)

Now get on over to Kimmy's and play along!!! :)

My Latest Obsession...

It's quite funny...this week's assignment over at Mama Kat's totally coincided with the post I was going to do - even if it hadn't been assignment day!

My prompts were:

1.) Describe your latest obsession.

2.) Ask a loved one to use 6 descriptive words to describe you and report your findings. How well do they know you?

3.) Who was your first bloggy friend? How did you find each other? Do you still correspond?

4.) Tell us about your pet! If you have a weird infatuation with your dog or cat we want to hear about it (or if they just plain drive you crazy)...but please don't compare them to children. It's just not the same.

And I knew the first one would be it.

My latest obsession is...

My mom was SUPER SUPER generous on Christmas and bought us a Wii. Then hubby and I decided we needed to try the latest craze...Guitar Hero. We bought it and started playing it. I SUCKED and got mad and pouted like I do when I am not good at any game. Yes, I am a sore loser.

We had some friends over the day we got it and I refused to even play in front of them, out of fear of total humiliation. If you haven't played it before, EVERYONE knows when you mess up. It's quite hilarious when others do it really bad...but when I do...it's not so funny (okay...it is now - at first it wasn't).

So...with practice and drinks - I have become decent at it! This game is SO addicting! It's rather sad that when you listen to the radio now, you can hear the guitar and you can picture those green, yellow and red dots. I am still on "easy" but one day, I may be able to advance to "medium".

But I must admit...I did have one night, after a few drinks, where I ROCKED! Proof is right here:

No...my streak isn't the 72 streak...but the 475!!! I just HAD to take a picture of that because that is just insane that I did that good! (Nevermind the other night I only had an 11 streak!).

So that is my latest obsession. I think before too long I will have carpal tunnel - and if I keep playing it for hours on end...I may OD on it since the room oddly moves around if you look away from the screen. It is crazy.

I am blogging from work so I don't have other pictures to share of me rocking out...but perhaps I will save them for tomorrow!

I Love My Munchkin!

I am so thankful for the munchkin - I could definitely give you more than 10 reasons why...but for this week...I will keep it to 10. These are in no particular order!

1. I am so thankful for the love she has taught me. I have never known a love like this before. You always hear parents talk about this "love" for their children - but you never TRULY experience it until you have children of your own. It is such a powerful emotion in which I cannot even find the words to explain it.

2. I am thankful for her innocence. That sounds weird I bet. But I just love looking at things through her eyes. She doesn't know heartache. She doesn't know pain (other than bumping her nugget) and she doesn't know deception. She is so innocent and so pure and it is truly is amazing to see her interacting in a world that isn't always nice.

3. I am thankful for the patience I have learned (or rather...am learning). I am NOT a patient person by nature...but with the munchkin...I have to be. Sure, there are times that she can REALLY try my patience - even at her young age - but I am thankful to be learning this gift that I have never had.

4. I am thankful for the laughter. I find myself cracking up all the time over the things she does and the things she says. She can make a bad day so much better just by looking at her!

5. I am thankful for my heart melting each and every time she says "hi mom" or "mommy".

6. I am thankful for big bear baby hugs every morning I pick her up out of her crib.

7. I am thankful that I can still rock her to sleep every night - she isn't too old or too big yet!

8. I am thankful for watching her get excited over simple things like going down a slide, or even better, watching her stuffed animals go down the slide. I wish I could be more excited and more happy with the little things in life, and perhaps, I am learning to be that way, because of her.

9. I am thankful for slobbery baby kisses.

10. I am thankful she is MINE. ALL MINE. I am her mommy. She has changed my life in a way I could never ever explain. I am thankful that I was SO SO SO SO blessed to have HER as my daughter!

How could I not be thankful for this beautiful human being...


Now it's your turn...tell me about your children...what makes you so thankful about them! And...if you don't have children...tell me about some special children in your life!

Thankful Tuesday!!

Welcome to Thankful Tuesday! I hope you will take the time to participate this week! It is a great feeling to stop and reflect on all the things you are thankful for! It can do wonders for a bad mood and can do wonders to remind you of the little things that sometimes we all take for granted!

So for this week's assignment...

Your topic is:

Your child(ren). What about your child(ren) make you thankful? If you don't have children of your own, pick a child in your life to write about.

So what you do is simple...

1. Post a new blog listing ten things that you are thankful for in regards to this week's topic! Feel free to do more than 10!

2. Be sure to link my blog somewhere in your post. (Shameless plug...I know!)

3. Come back later on in the day (after I have posted my post (which will probably be some time around 10 California time)) and sign Mr. Linky that will be at the bottom of my post. This will let everyone know you have participated.

4. Leave a comment for the person that signed above you (or if you are first, leave a comment for me).

5. If you are feeling generous, leave a comment for at least 3 people...or even more!

That's it! :) Pretty simple! Now get to work!

Traditions...

For the past 3 or 4 years, my friend Trina and I get together to wrap Christmas presents and consume some adult-like beverages (usually champagne). This year...err....last year was no exception!

However, this year...darn it...I mean last year...(whatever...I am over it...when I say "this year" I mean 2008) we had our friends Gina and Val over to help. We also changed from champagne to chocolate martinis! Yum!


When you get four women together, mixed with chocolate martinis...you do some silly things. Like wear Christmas socks...or peg your pants "just because"! Even hubby, who was completely sober, decided to peg his pants too. But he wouldn't let us take a picture of it!


Even the kids joined in the fun of wrapping! :)




By the end of the night...we were a little silly...a little intoxicated...and ready to be done with wrapping already!!!








It was a great time and I am SO glad that Val and Gina made their way over this year! I hope they will join us next year too!!!

However, I do have one word of advice for any of you out there that would like to try some chocolate martinis...they are HEAVEN. You really can't taste the alcohol. But...they are bad because of that. They are a dangerous drink! I suppose moderation would be the key in this type of situation...but they are just soooo yummy that you can't help having a second...or a third! Needless to say...I didn't feel good later on that night! Thank goodness I have the cure for hangovers because I amazingly woke up without one! :)