Saturday, January 24, 2009

Sometimes...

Sometimes I miss my carefree days. Sometimes I miss being able to go and hang out with the girls, drinking, talking, laughing, doing silly things. Sometimes I miss not having the huge responsibility. Sometimes I miss not being able to stay places as long as I'd like.

Tonight was my friend's daughter's birthday. I got there in time just to stay for a tiny bit and then head home. My friend Becky was down and I didn't get to spend much time with her either. I miss her a lot. I miss all our fun times.

Back in the day, after the birthday party, we would have all hung out, had some drinks, laughed, talked, whatever. Tonight...all that will still go on. But without me. I have a munchkin asleep in the other room. No silliness tonight from me, unless you count blogging and studying as silliness...which I guess in a way - it is!

Can't help but feel a tad sad tonight. As I started rocking the munchkin to sleep, I felt as if I was missing out. Missing out on the deep conversations, the girl things we use to do pre-munchkin days. Since having the munchkin I rarely see Becky. I didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw her tonight. Sometimes I feel that I have grown apart from most of my other girl friends. Our friendship went to a different level. I am not in the same place they are anymore.

But, looking at that little munchkin as she was drifting off to sleep, it reminded me that even though I miss my friends sometimes, it's worth it.

11 comments:

Serenity said...

Awww honey don't worry it won't be like that forever. Someday she will let you stay and play longer. It's just a little rough in the beginning. Your a GREAT mommy and friend. Hold your chin up :)

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

everything has a season...

Soon, you'll see that the time for girlfriends isn't only wanted ... it's needed,and when you are on autopilot when Emily is older, you will be able to have your fun again.

Kimmy said...

I agree with Serenity. It will get easier as she gets older. Believe it or not, it will get here sooner than you think.

You are a wonderful mommy and friend and Emily is lucky to have you as her mommy!

Young Momma said...

I totally understand. I am the same way. I have almost no friends who have kids, so it's hard to be on the same level as anyone that I know. I do feel like I miss out on certain things. Especially with me being so young.

But the same as you - I realize that it's worth it. I realize, like Kimmy said, it'll go by so fast and I'll be wishing for the days when they stayed home with me every night. lol

(((hugs))) Feel better! We're all allowed our sad days!

Baby Momma said...

I feel you. I really do.

you are not alone, and this too will pass. One day we will have all the time in the world, and we will be missing these little years...

When I had to leave the party tonight early to let my babysitters (aka In Laws) go home, I was feeling the same way. Some days are harder than others...

Trina said...

I am so glad that you got to be there for the time you did..it meant the world to me! I've been where you are and it is hard...I'm sorry youre feeling this way! I love you and I will come over soon and we can hang out and have deep talks and drink all you want!
Love you!

Tonya said...

I have to agree with the other commenters! It is hard in the beginning, but it gets easier!!!

I make sure that I get a girls night out with other mothers. I feel that break makes me a better mother. I am not talking about staying out all hours of the morning, but rather a nice dinner.

Girls night out rejuvenates my soul. It makes me more patience with my daughter...it gives me a bond with other mothers, and we have a great time! You might want to try it!

Darcie said...

I know how you feel. When I get back to PA, I'll have a built-in babysitter so I'll get more opportunities to go out but I do realize how limiting kids are to a social life.

And like the other three said, she'll be old enough soon and you'll find more time for you.

Mandie, Daniel and Dawson said...

I think this is similar to what you told me about the sleep, or lack of, I'm pretty sure this does get better. Hang in there.

Minxy Mimi said...

I know how you feel...My husband is usually home so I am able to get away with my friends occasionally alone! I would suggest trying that if he is amenable!
But I do get ya.

Kristin said...

totally right there with you! :) Its easier when your friends all have children!