Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Weekly Assignment

Thanks Mama Kat for the fun this week! :)

Dear Santa:

I am writing you for the first time since I was a little girl. I am not asking for much this year. I already have pretty much everything I need. However, this morning, it was brought to my attention I do need something else. I am not sure if they make it. I am not sure if there is even such a thing. I know there are variations of it out there but not sure if they make this kind.

I want to remind you that I have been VERY good this year! I have sacrificed a lot in my life for my family. I have given up the dream of being a successful business owner so that I can raise our daughter. I have put aside a lot of my needs and desires so that my husband can pursue his career as a firefighter. I have not asked for much from anyone. I have been there for family who needed me, and friends who have needed me. I have been nice (for the most part) to my husband. I have been very nice and patient (for the most part) to our daughter. I have been nice to total strangers and have even done random acts of kindness. I am QUITE sure I have made your "nice list" this year!

However, I fear that if I do not receive the one thing I think I need, I may be transferred to the "naughty list" next year.

All I am asking for is some sort of ear filter. I want something that is a comfortable fit. I need something I can sleep in and not even know it is there. I definitely need something that allows me to hear my daughter if she needs me. I need something that allows me to hear the phone (but ONLY if it is an emergency), or other sounds that will allow me to protect my family and myself. This filter NEEDS to drown out hubby's snoring. He snored last night and I am pretty grumpy today from lack of sleep. But I will even take listening to him snore if you can create something to drown out the munchkin's SUPER SUPER annoying aquarium in her crib. Honestly Santa, I thought the six-minute mode was bad. She had it on that mode one night and played the thing allllllllllllllllllll night long. Six minutes is a LONG time when it is played at 2, 215, 230, etc in the middle of the night.

However, somehow...some way...that thing now has a 12 minute mode. I know it is that long because I stared at the clock the entire 12 minutes wondering when that thing would stop making noise. I need these ear filters to drown that ANNOYING sound out but still allow me to hear her if she needs me. I know I could take her aquarium out of her crib, but that would not be a nice thing to do since she loves it so much! Plus, remember, I am trying to stay on the "nice" list. I usually try and remember to change the aquarium to a ear-friendly mode before she goes to bed but SOME HOW it does not stay there. SOME HOW that damn aquarium will bring me to my grave early and I really like being alive. I really LOVE my family even if I want to strangle my husband for being loud right now but they deserve a NICE mommy and a NICE wife. That is NOT going to happen if I don't get these ear filters.

So Santa...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help a woman out! Can you have your elves concoct something to drown out the annoying sounds but allow in the important ones? I REALLY don't want your helper reporting bad about ME next year so anything you can do would be VERY appreciated!!!

Thanks Santa! You are the best! Now I am going to go and count to ten before I get more grumpy. Maybe I'll count to 100.

Love always,

16 comments:

adoptionandfire said...

You had me totally cracking up with this post!!!

Love the Christmas background!

Kimmy said...

LMAO! That is friggen hilarious! GREAT Santa letter :o) I'm sorry you're grumpy though. I've been quite grumpy the past couple days and it's no fun AT ALL, so I can relate! Big HUGS to you my friend!!

Saundra@An Italian Mama Gone Crazy said...

I sure hope you take this the right way as it is meant with love and compassion... THAT is EXACTLY the reason I didn't let my kids fall asleep with anything in their mouths, music, tv, thumb.. NOTHING!
I didn't want to have to break the habit down the line.

The earlier you break the need for music or anything else she may think she needs (except herself) the better for you and her in the long run... I promise... it will also make traveling much more enjoyable for her and you...

Lovely letter, and I have a snorer too. I haven't had a decent nights sleep in 17 years.

Denise said...

Oh no worries - she doesn't fall asleep with it on - it's just there for her to play with and keep herself entertained when she's in her crib for different reasons (getting bath ready, etc). If we did take it out...I HIGHLY doubt she'd be mad or sad about it...but she just loves to play with it - we keep it in! :) We have traveled without it and most of her other stuff with no problem! :)

alison said...

LMAO.... oh my, that was good! is your new career plan in comedy writing, because you'd make a million!!

The Wife O Riley said...

That is a very good letter, Santa will be very impressed.

Rachel said...

omg! if they make ear plugs that drown out snoring, but allow baby cries to go through, please SIGN ME UP TOO!

Kristen said...

ha ha ha you are soooo funny. I do hope Santa hears your request and if not maybe he has created this special ear piece and is wearing one

Jenners said...

Visiting from MamaKat's writers workshop posts...

This was so great...and if you get such a filter, I will request one too!

Adelaine said...

Popped over here from MamaKat....

So if Santa truely gets you these, could you ask his elves to make me a pair? I've so been there......

Michelle said...

LOL! I hope Santa helps you out.

Sugar Sweet Thoughts said...

Funny Stuff! I need one of those ear filters, too!

The Odd Duck said...

This made me both smile and laugh, much needed after the past week.

If Santa does bring you one of those filters, could you ask him to swing by and drop one of for me? Please and thank you.

Kimmy said...

You liked that?! LOL! I am an addict.......thanks to YOU!!! :o) lol

You couldn't see the picture though? hmm...it was a bunny jumping up and down with the word "yippeeeeeee!!!" next to it.

Trina said...

Lol...your funny!

Kimmy said...

Hey you! Thanks for the comment!!
I luff you too! (That "luff" word is super cute..lol)

BTW...It's NEVER too late! But I understand the whole busy thing! I actually did mine Thursday and just scheduled it for Friday. :o)