With Love...

It's a day none of us will ever forget. A day of phenomenal tragedy. A day of utter pain. A day of uncertainty. A day of fear. A day of darkness. A day each of us remembers what was happening the moment we heard the news.

My heart broke then, my heart breaks now. For the 2977 people that died, for the families of those that died, for the 343 firefighters that died trying to save those people...my heart breaks.

In Loving Memory...

Friday Flip-Offs

Back again for another Flip-Off Friday thanks to the beautiful Momma Kiss. I love Flip-Off Friday! :)

1. First and foremost...I have a BIG eff-you to the two people arrested for looting from those poor poor families that fell victim to the San Bruno Fire. You make me absolutely sick. 53 homes destroyed, 120 damaged, 4 confirmed dead (although there will be more), and so many hurt. How dare you go and loot from these poor innocent victims. You make me sick.

2. Flippin' off whining. Honestly, listening to the toddler whine whine whine this morning is about to drive me over the edge. She will be fine in about a half hour - after she's done eating - but the time leading up to her stopping is about to make me pull my hair out!

3. And...flippin' off teeth! You little tiny baby teeth buggin' my youngest daughter can eff off. Not only does she scream in pain and chew on everything...she's chewing on ME! I have teeth marks on my left shoulder. I was also quite sure she amputated my nipple this morning when feeding her. It's still there...amazingly. But you little teeth...grow in already and leave her (and me!) alone!

And that's all for today...or at least for the moment!

Got things you want to flip off? Head on over and pay a visit to Momma Kiss and play along!

My Precious Precious Daughter...

Dear Sweetheart:

Today you turn three.  Did you know that three years ago today, I was given the absolute BEST birthday present, one that NO ONE could EVER top...YOU!  You were born into this world at 9:58 pm and were so stunningly beautiful the moment you arrived.  You are still so amazingly perfect - I have been blessed.  Blessed in ways I'm not sure I deserve...but so honored to be able to be YOUR mom!

I love you so very very much.  It's so fun to watch you grow into the beautiful little girl you are becoming.  You amaze me every day with your intelligence, your laughter, your funny nature, your hugs and kisses, and just being YOU.  I wish I could just make a huge bubble and keep you young forever but I know I can't.

I am so proud of you for all that you are.  You probably don't even know what it means - or even realize it - but every single room you walk into...you light it up!  You make it sparkle!  You can turn any bad mood into a great mood just by looking at you.  You can melt my heart with just a simple glance in my direction. 

I don't know how I got so lucky to have YOU as a daughter - but I'm so overjoyed that I was chosen for you, and you were chosen for me!  I look forward to watching you grow, watching you learn new things and watching you become an even better you! 

I love you so very very very very very much.

Happy birthday baby girl!

Love,

Mommy

Minutes old...

 

First Birthday...

2nd birthday...(you can tell she was playing hard!)

About to be three...

Let's Just Be Honest Here...

I started this 30 days of truth and well...I am not doing so well with it.  The kid's birthday party is tomorrow and we've been busy getting things ready to host 40 people.  It was only going to be 22 but then late RSVPs made the list grow to 40...so yes, we've been busy.

But...it's time to get back to the honesty thing.  I have a bazillion days to catch up on it feels like - so be forewarned this will be a long post.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Oh this is so cliche...but I hope to be alive long enough to meet my grandchildren.


Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Bury someone I love.  I know I will have to but I have a fear of it.  A huge fear.  I NEVER EVER EVER want to have to bury one of my children but I also don't want to lose my husband, my mom, my dad, my siblings, my friends, no one.  Yes, it's inevitable but the thought of it brings me anxiety.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

My husband.  My kids.  My family.  I know that's more than one someone but they all make my existence on this earth worth every single second.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Well, I can say ex-boyfriends.  BUT, in reality I guess the only person to blame here is me.  I stayed in horrible abusive (verbal/emotional) relationships.  I allowed to be treated that way.  But I also found my self-respect, self-worth and self-love and walked away.  Perhaps they will be part of my Friday flip off next week!

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Various friends in my life.  I am sure we all go through that.  But the whole "reason, season, lifetime" bit is completely true in my life.  Each person is or was in my life for a reason and for that I am truly truly grateful for everyone.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Hmmm.  I can't really think of anyone.  I have learned to let go of toxic people and right now I don't think I have any toxic people in my life. 

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Oh gosh this is hard.  I don't take compliments well AT ALL.  Um.  Hmmm.  The fact I have a giving nature?  I've been told I am a great mom...but again, I'm not so sure that's true.  Wow.  This is sad.  I think I need to listen more.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

My figure.  Sigh.  Kids will do that to you!

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Write a letter?  To a band?  Hmmm.  I don't even want to answer this.  You will all laugh.  Literally.  But since I have to be honest...NKOTB.  Yes, laugh.  Get it out.  Now back in the day - I lived for those guys.  I was positive I was going to marry one of them.  I just knew it.  During those junior high/high school days (yup - just dated myself) when I'd have a bad day - I could just daydream and everything would be better.  Yeah okay...you can stop laughing now.  Kind of a silly truth - but reminds me of my youth!  :)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Lot's of letter writing going on.  To be honest I don't know if I have one of these either.  I will have to think on it and if I come up with something I will finish this one later!

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

My husband.  Before we were married we broke up.  I remember that time - it was truly devastating to me.  I was so heartbroken.  I was looking for places to live and starting to pack stuff.  Luckily it only lasted a very short time and now we are married with two beautiful daughters!  :)

Friday Flip-Offs

I know this blog is usually pretty PC but the real me in real life isn't always so. Today I need this Friday Flip-Off and since the wonderfully beautiful Momma Kiss is hosting - I can't just let it slide...plus I have a lot of things to flip off...

The first being party planning. Yeah. Party planning. Both mine and the toddler's birthday is this Sunday. I LOVE LOVE LOVE party planning. I like live for this shit stuff.  But...when it comes down to the wire, the hubby has to go to work to provide for us and I have a fussy toddler and clingy baby.  Today I loathe party planning. Can't I just sleep in? No. I have to clean and do some things here and there, oh yeah, and clean. Tomorrow I have to bake and bake and bake.  But today, I clean.  Have you tried getting a house clean with two kids that need your attention...24/7 after not sleeping much?

That's the other thing. Sleep. Sleep, I love you. BUT a big flip off to you for not coming back after I had to feed the baby at 4. Why did you just leave and leave me wide awake? Don't you realize I need you?

Now for those that don't want to read TMI stuff...just skip this flip off... But probably the BIGGEST eff you to my period. Yup...EFF YOU! Post partum periods can kiss my big white ass butt. I had no issues with my oldest daughter but this time around??? Hell no. They seem to last 2 to 2.5 weeks (or more) and then it comes back yesterday? Yeah...once again...EFF YOU. A few days in between periods is completely unacceptable. Happy birthday to me! And yes, I just blogged about my period.

And...as crappy as this post sounds...I am actually in a GREAT mood today!  I'm excited about the party (just not the prep) and I've got my caffeine high going.  BUT...I might as well flip off the crash from my high now because I'll probably be too tired to later!  :)

Now head on over to Mommakiss and play along! :)

Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday

This is going to be something that I am sure my family wouldn't want me to vent about. I guess it's not really a vent but more of something that has bothered me for 30 years. I am about to celebrate the 15th anniversary of my 21st birthday and for the prior 30-31 years there's been the biggest elephant in the room.

My dad and his parents don't talk. As long as I remember - they don't talk. When my mom and dad were married (they divorced when I was 4ish/5ish) they did speak and hang out - but after they divorced - they didn't. Growing up it was my mom that took me to visit my dad's parents. Weird.

So fast forward the 30 years. My grandfather has now passed on and my grandma is still here. My dad and her have been talking and even visiting every Sunday. Honestly, you have no idea how much this just fills me up with pride, happiness, love, basically an emotion I can't put into words. It's literally a dream come true!

Neither my grandparents nor my dad have really told me why they didn't talk. Honestly, I think they don't even know why. They just didn't. My grandma thought he didn't care - he thought she didn't care.

I've seen the utter pain in my dad from this. I've seen him breakdown and lose it when my grandfather died. He had never spoke to him. He was told not to come to the funeral by my aunt (conveying the message through my mom to me and my brother to get to him). You see, my aunt and him don't talk either. I've seen the pain when meaningless birthday cards were sent between my dad and his mom. They both loved each other but both were hurt.

So now they are SLOWLY mending things. They are SLOWLY getting to know one another. My grandma is 92. I am not sure how much longer she has but I am truly happy this is going on.

But when my dad visited her recently, he informed her he would like to come down to visit her with my children and myself. She flat out told him no. On two different occasions. I am not sure why and it's been bugging me to no end. This may be selfish - but I REALLY want a 4 generation picture. I NEVER EVER even remotely thought it would be a possibility and now that it is - I want it. I WANT to witness my dad with his mom. I NEED that. But my grandma's adamant "no" has me hurt. Has me questioning what is really going on.

I'm going to be seeing her on Thursday for a visit with my girls and husband. I'm going to ask her if it's okay if I come with my dad. If she says no I am going to ask why. I'm scared. I am scared of the answer. I'm scared of getting really emotional over it. It's been a REALLY emotional thing for me for many many years. My brother lives out of state so he isn't as affected as much as I am, but he's affected too.  I'm just the one that has been in the middle of this for years and years.

I'm just really hoping that even if I don't get to witness them together, that the two of them can mend their relationship enough to make both happy when one or the other passes.  I'm glad it's going on - I just wish I could be a part of it too!

Keeping my everything crossed that Thursday goes okay and I will be able to visit my grandma with my girls AND my father really really soon!

Now tell me what's on YOUR mind...

Post It Note Tuesday...

If You Really Knew Me 2...3...4...

So I've been busy the past few days and haven't been able to keep up on my 30 days of truth.  So here you go...3 big ol' truths all in one!

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I love my heart. My ability to love. My ability to love so many different things. I love helping people - out of the love in my heart. I love making others smile. I love making birthdays and holidays special for those I love. I love my family and friends with a type of love I could never explain in words, only through feelings. I love the funny little things I see my kids do...or even funny or adorable things others do. I love my husband with a love that would never be able to be captured in words. I love my friends as if they were my own brothers and sisters. I love my parents and brother with a love that once again, could never be explained in words. I love that through all my heartaches and trials and tribulations, I have never let my heart turn cold and refused to love or have forgotten how to (which sadly I have known people to do). I love the feeling of love. :)

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

This needs some thinking. There are a lot of things I need to work on forgiving myself for. But I think the biggest one is I need to accept and forgive myself for not being perfect. Sounds kinda ridiculous typing that out since no one is perfect. But I tend to want to be the best wife and mom and friend and everything. But I am not. I am not going to be the perfect wife. I am not going to be the perfect mom. I am not going to be the perfect friend. I am not the perfect daughter or sister. I need to work on forgiving that in myself and to just work on being me - the me that I am...imperfections and all. That's a tough one. I hate disappointing others but I think the more I strive to be perfect for everyone else - I only end up disappointing myself.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

This will actually be talked about tomorrow in my Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday. But I need to really work on forgiving my grandparents. It's a work in progress. I don't hold any hatred towards them, I just need to work on forgiving them. You can read more about it tomorrow!

Growing So Fast!

Today we took our toddler to go see a Preschool.  It's a brand new one opening up here in town.  It was kind of surreal watching her play with the toys and go down the slide.  I loved watching her but I also felt a sense of sadness.  My baby is growing up! 

I know they will grow up and before I know it - they will be my age with kids of their own.  But that doesn't mean I have to like it! 

I'm SO excited for her to enter this new phase of her life but with that comes a sense of loss.  I am losing the little girl that needed me for everything and that is now replaced by the "I want to do it all by myself" girl.  I am losing the one that liked to cuddle and she is being replaced by the one that doesn't. 

BUT I am gaining the girl that is growing up and learning new things and becoming the person she was meant to be.  I am gaining the girl that has the whole world in front of her and she's starting to discover it. 

It's a bitter/sweet day.  If I'm emotional today...I can't imagine how emotional I will be on her first day of preschool...kindergarten or high school. 

If You Really Knew Me...

If you really knew me...you'd know that I hate the fact that I am insecure.  I am insecure in a lot of things...looks, weight, intelligence, parenting, being a good wife, cooking, pretty much everything.  It's not a fun place to be and it's something I need to spend time working on.  A lot of time working on.  It's a constant work in progress for me. 

A lot of people have told me they had no clue I possess this negative self-image of myself.  Some know that I am shy and some know that I am not happy with how I look right now, but a lot of people don't know the real feelings behind my smile.  Nor do people know that sometimes, my smile is fake.  But...you gotta fake it 'til you make it some days and that's what I do. 

So...there you go...the first truth to all of you in this challenge.  I encourage you to play along!  You can find the list of truths right after this post.

If You Really Knew Me...

So I saw this challenge on another blog I started following and it seemed really interesting.  I encourage all of you to play along as well! 

Here is the list of truths to write about:

30 Days of Truth:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Not sure how hard or easy it will be but I think it will be a good exercise!  :)  Please join in!

Dear Mommy and Daddy...

Dear Mommy and Daddy...

I don't feel so well. I have a cold and the snot keeps dripping. I "spit up" like sissy does and it scared me some. You told me it's called "vomit" but all I know is I don't like it and I hope I am back to feeling better soon.

Mommy, I know you have a lot of things to do so thank you for getting up with me about 400 times last night. It made me feel better knowing you cared, even if you were absolutely exhausted. Thank you for holding my hand as I leaned my head over the potty. Thank you for rubbing my head and scratching my back to help me fall back asleep. Thank you for reassuring me that everything will be okay.

Daddy, I know you also have a lot of things to do today. You are my hero daddy. I'm sorry I puked all over you last night. Thank you for not making me feel bad about it and for helping me out by cleaning me up and showing me where the "spit up"...err..."vomit" goes. Daddy, I love you so much and I'm so glad you make me feel safe and secure and work hard for us.

I woke up feeling better this morning, full of energy, but didn't feel like eating. I hope I am getting better. Sissy seems better, hers only lasted about a day and a half. That means it isn't too much longer for me!

By the way Mommy...I know you had a different letter planned for the Writer's Workshop but I think this one is more fitting just because you didn't get any sleep last night! Hope your readers understand!

Love,

Munchkin

Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday

I think the one thing I always question is myself. Am I good enough? I guess that can be from childhood issues or what have you - but I seriously question these kinds of things.

The one I struggle with the most is if I am a good enough mom. Do I give my kids what they need? Not in material things but in emotional things. I can't be two places at once, although I try. Today was especially difficult. I have a sick baby and a toddler who needs my attention. (By the way - I am writing this Tuesday night as I am about to have my own personal meltdown from today's events). The baby just cried her heart out all.day.long. The toddler was really good and understanding as toddler's can be. The TV helped me out A LOT today. More than I would ever admit. But what can I do when the baby would just cry and cry and scream if I laid her down, and god forbid, laid her down and left the room. I understand she has a plethora of snot and a small fever but even I need a break sometimes.

My toddler had tantrums today. I know it was just because she needed me and I couldn't be there like she needed me. I am sad. I feel like I failed her. I feel like if Super Nanny were here she'd be yelling at me and telling me everything I did was completely wrong and damaging. What's worse? My toddler said she hated me the other day. She said it in her room but the monitor was on. She said "I hate mommy". My heart still breaks just thinking about that. I know she was mad because she didn't want to go to bed and I doubt she meant it and I KNOW that won't be the last time she says it. But at 3? Seriously? How does she know what that means?

I miss her. I miss just her and I. I don't get her and I time that much anymore. It's something I need to do my best to do. Leave the house with just her and I. But, she's SUCH a daddy's girl, I'm not too sure how well she'd welcome that idea. When he comes home from shift, I am chopped liver. I guess I just need to do it and see. After all, I am the adult here, aren't I? No really...am I? Today I feel like a lost soul. Not an adult. Not a child. Just lost.

Tomorrow is another day and  I know these feelings won't be so intense.  It's just been a difficult day.  But I will still question if I am raising my kids well enough.  I will still wonder if they will end up in therapy because of me.  I watch that show Intervention and I fear my kids will be one of those people because of something I have done.  Irrational?  Probably.  But I wonder these things.  And hey...it's Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday - so I'm allowed to wonder these things today!

Here's to a MUCH better tomorrow!

Now go and tell me what has been on YOUR mind by participating in:

Stick It Where The Sun Don't Shine!

Today's 36 year old tantrum brought to you by:

The Pressure! The Pressure!

So I about panicked when I read my email from MamaKat this morning and saw that she picked one of MY writing prompts for her assignment this week. Not only has this blog been neglected but well...it just needs an overhaul. No sleep and two kids makes it hard to get here but I need to do some blogging so here I go! :)

We've been one busy family! This past weekend was an amazing one! I was so fortunate to meet up with some amazing mommy-friends and share some good quality time with their amazing selves and their precious precious children.

The munchkin had a BLAST with all her friends and is still talking about it!








After the playdate we made or way up to the fair. The hubby was working at the Firefighter Corn Booth and I was blessed to spend some time with our friends and their adorable son. Emily was super tired and looked like she wasn't having any fun but she still is talking about the fair too!




I have so many more pictures from days passed to upload. I'm just exhausted today. I also have maybe a few thought-provoking posts to add as well...when my mind can actually function correctly. So here's hoping for good blogging the next few days!

Also...be sure to keep checking MamaKat's blog to see when she posts her writing prompts. I highly recommend trying the first prompt once they are posted! :)

If You're a Slacker And You Know...Clap Your Hands!

CLAP CLAP! I'm a slacker. I don't blog like I once did. At one point I blogged every single day. I also hosted Thankful Tuesday - and spent time updating friends/family on life. Well, now life and kids have gotten in the way lately. I guess that's what happens - especially when you add a new baby to the mix. This stay-at-home-mom stuff is tough - especially with two! I LOVE it - but it occupies more time than it once did!

At any rate...we have been a busy family!

My brother and his family were in town which is always so wonderful! We were able to go to Marine World, have a sleep over and swim. We were also able to go out to breakfast and crawdad fishing on their last day!









This year we were also able to celebrate fireworks together for the first time. Erik and I have never really been able to relax and watch fireworks in the 7 years we have been together. When I was pregnant with Emily we watched them while he was on shift - until he got a call and I was there watching without him. Every year he has to work the 4th - either mandatory OT or he's just been on shift that day. This year we found out the Country Club has fireworks on the 3rd so we BBQ'd and headed up there for the show! It was SUCH a nice day!


This was the only picture we took on the 3rd! I can't believe it!

On the 4th we watched the parade at a friend's house. It was nice to be able to have a perfect SHADED view - especially since it was super hot that day! Emily played with some friends before it started and we all hung out. It was a perfect morning!



That night, Erik went off to work and the girls and I, along with Erik's parents, headed over to Marine World to watch the fireworks. The fireworks were AWESOME and we had the BEST view! Honestly, I've never seen better fireworks! Emily had her earmuffs on to drown out the loud "bang" and she had a BLAST! (Even if it did take us 2.5 hours to drive 5 minutes home (accident at the front gate which closed the exits down)).


In other news...Allison now has four teeth and is clapping her hands! As of this morning she appears to be trying to crawl although has no idea what she's doing. It's just the absolute beginning of her trying to move - and it's hilarious to watch!

Emily is just growing growing growing. She is a super funny kid and is just so amazing! She's been doing GREAT being potty trained and I couldn't be more proud!

Could it be??

Could it possibly be that the baby has outgrown her MSPI? I had cheese yesterday for lunch - no reaction. In fact - she hasn't had any reaction with cheese at all. She also hasn't had a reaction with the milk that has been in a few things I have eaten - nor has she had a reaction with real butter! YAY!

But for dinner - I had chicken cordon bleu. It involved whipping cream. No reaction yet...

PRAYING she's over it...and praying she doesn't have a reaction! Just need to wait it out a few more days. IF there is no reaction - I am going to guess she's over the MSPI! With Emily - I could have never added that stuff in. In fact, she was over it at about 13 months. Allison's case was a lot more mild so hopefully at 7 months she's done!

I'm getting so much closer to eating normally and having a healthy baby!!! It's exciting! :)

Get 'R Done!

I've been unmotivated long enough to get the things on my to-do list done. So now...today...I am back at it.

Here is my summer to-do list:

1. Get my ass back to the gym or just work out more to lose this baby weight!
2. Eat healthier
3. Start cooking a lot more and eating HOME COOKED meals
4. Make an effort to spend more time with hubby - no matter how exhausted I am
5. Take the kids to the park and/or outdoors more when DH isn't here
6. Go through my work pile and organize it
7. Make a bigger effort to do the home physical therapy program with my youngest and get her out of PT finally
8. Spend one-on-one time with my oldest
9. Take advantage of ME time
10. Help hubby plan out how to landscape the front and back of the house
11. Send out pictures to family that I've been meaning to do
12. Go through the kids clothes and store away/get rid of the ones that no longer fit
13. Go through my closet and get rid of clothes I will not wear (hello - time to put the maternity clothes away).

I am sure there are A LOT more things I need to get done and I am sure this list will grow but it's a start for now!

What is on YOUR to-do list for the summer???

I am a Forgetful Mother...

I'm sad to title my post that I am a forgetful mother. But I am. I was just reading up on a friend's blog and realized that there are things I forget. Not in the literal sense of "oh I forgot to bring the sippy cup" (although I have been known to do that) - but things I forget in reference to my children.

I sometimes forget my oldest child isn't even three yet. There are moments of frustration and disappointment that I experience. There are moments of anger I feel. There are moments of thinking "why don't you understand what I am saying". It's because I forget. I forget she's only two. I forget that sometimes she will pee or poop in her pants because she is only two and just learned to go in the potty. I forget sometimes that she will not listen and only do what SHE wants to do - because she's only two. I forget that she may not want to do something I was enjoying doing with her and will quickly move onto something else...because she's only two. She isn't doing anything wrong - she is just being her two year old self. I forget sometimes.

I also forget that it's important for me to build her up...all the time. During my moments of frustration, I forget. I shouldn't be so quick to get frustrated with her but to take a deep breath and let her have her temper tantrum and when it's over to talk with her and cuddle with her (if she allows it - she isn't always big on cuddling) and remind her of how amazing she is. She is now sharing her mommy with another sibling and I need to remember how that may make her feel at times. I need to remind her she is the most beautiful person and she lights up every room she walks into. I need to remind her she is amazing for being the person she is and there isn't anything she can't do.

But I forget to do these things sometimes. I feel crappy that I forget. So I need to work on this. She IS amazing. She IS beautiful. She DOES light up every single room she walks into. She makes the room sparkle! My life is even more beautiful because she was born and I couldn't be more honored to be HER mommy. To be the mommy to BOTH of my girls is such an honor. One I am truly blessed to have.

Speaking of Cheese...

I had some yesterday. It was pretty much one of the best experiences of my life. Okay, not really. But it was pretty damn good. Going without milk or soy for over 7 months is rough on this dairyaholic.

Now we wait to see if the little one has a reaction.

Everything is crossed hoping and praying she won't! (Gut reaction tells me she's doing pretty good with the MSPI stuff and is HOPEFULLY over it!)